Live Long Enough to See Yourself Become the Villain

Kill your heroes. It seems like every day there’s a new accusation of sexual misconduct in the news. And it’s always the rich and powerful because they’re the ones that get away with it. We admire their talents, skills, and charisma but when they get exposed we become disappointed, shocked, and angry because if these people fail, what hope is there for any of us who don’t have the fame and fortune to shield us from a public mauling? That’s why you shouldn’t look up to celebrities – or people for that matter.

The sooner we can disengage from celebrity worship the less assholes can get away with being assholes. If you have anybody that you like, kill them in your heart so that the moment they betray you and everyone else you won’t feel the need to make excuses. And why should you? They have nothing to do with you!

The important thing is to disabuse ourselves of the notion that this kind of thing only happens outside of our circle because it happens everywhere in all walks of life precisely because it’s learned behavior from a culture that has always treated women unfairly. There is a very high likelihood that someone you know has been a victim and that another person you know has been the perpetrator either knowingly or unknowingly.

Some men wrongly interpret this rising tide of awareness as being put in the crosshairs. It tells you something about a man when he empathizes more with being falsely accused than with being victimized. The importance of awareness is to deprogram the long held beliefs of what is acceptable when it comes to basic interaction with the opposite (or same) sex.

Even in a country like Iceland where they just recently passed a law that woman can’t be paid lower than men and has been recognized as one of the most progressive countries when it comes to gender equality is plagued with stories from women who have experienced sexual harassment in fields such as politics and entertainment.

Be the person that you look up to and don’t trust anyone else. When I read these stories and accounts of the victims, I’m getting an extremely clear outline of what not to do in the situation. Vibe be fucking damned, just ask for clear and concise consent.

And in the workplace, refrain from acting a fool with flirty remarks, unwanted advances, or even something as innocuous as a joke. Some people may lament this shackle on their “freedom of speech” but think about all the men and women who felt uncomfortable with this shit and never expressed it because of the oppressive societal pressure that told them that they were being a killjoy?

So politely shut the fuck up and don’t be offended when someone tells you otherwise.

YouTube Stars

Just going off on that Logan Paul tangent from yesterday, it scares me to think that today’s generation is being raised on YouTube. Sure, the stuff I was raised on wasn’t much better but by virtue of being TV, there were at least broadcasting standards. There was also an implicit understanding that not everything was real (not everybody understood this though).

Not so with YouTube. Arguably one of its biggest selling points is that these are “real” people and personalities without any corporate middlemen getting between you and the star. But kids these days haven’t developed the kind of bullshit filter that you get from watching so much trash on television so they’re getting unadulterated opinions that have now transcended fact checking and basic journalistic principles.

Back in the day, we wouldn’t have hesitated to call for someone’s head if they fucked up because we would barely know them. It’s different for a YouTuber or streamer because they’re your “friend” and we all know that our friends of all people couldn’t possibly be shitty.

As the US election results have shown, yes, our friends could turn out to be just as shitty as you never expected and this goes double–nay, triple–for people we’ve never actually met in real life.

And that’s what kills me about these YouTube celebrities who fuck up because they never suffer any real consequences. They get a boost in subscribers and national attention from mainstream media and their audience not only forgives, they will fight tooth and nail on their behalf.

And that’s because the feelings of your YouTube friend are of course much more important than the feelings of anyone who has been adversely affected by racism, suicide, or any number of delicate topics that popular YouTubers have now approached with the grace of a ten foot fucking sledgehammer.

Look, it’s fine to think that you’re friends or that you’re in a great community or whatever because I don’t doubt that there are genuine people on the internet who are making a positive impact.

But the moment someone fucks up, do not go out of your way to find excuses because you’re not only enabling their ass, but enabling every other ass who wants to push boundaries for easy clicks. And this hurts the good people on YouTube because they all have to suffer for the sins of the loudest jackass.

Does anybody actually change for the better if you have legions telling you to “ignore the haters?” I mean, which is easier? To listen to the side saying that you’re a horrible person for fucking up or the side that says you made a mistake and that everything is being blown out of proportion?

Come on. These are twenty-somethings who have made their fame by being “themselves.” When their very identity is under attack, the natural response is to retreat into the furthest corners of their ass and pretend that it’s the “haters” who are wrong, because their path to success was paved with undue adulation and admiration from the people who have stuck with them from the start and these are the same people who will still be there long after the controversy has passed.

So there’s no point in going above and beyond to demonstrate through action, not empty apology, just how remorseful you are. It’s easier to pay lip service than to pay money to make up for your misdeeds because even though you may not mean it when you donate, at least it makes a more tangible difference than a sincere heartfelt apology.

So don’t tell me that you’re sorry, pay me your sorry and then I’ll think about forgiving you.


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