You Sound Hot

There are certain things that are always sexy--at least until the moment of disillusionment comes, but until that moment comes, our imaginations run wild. Perhaps the greatest of instrument of sexiness that a woman can control is our imagination. It's why some people apply class distinctions between lingerie models and strippers. One is classy, and the other is classless.

That's why something as disembodied as a voice can be extremely sexy. With no frame of reference, we are free to imagine just how utterly hot the speaker must be in order to produce such a sexy sound. This must be the reason why phone sex lines are still around even today. Something about a woman saying naughty things to you is very...thrilling.

But then things fall apart as soon as you see her face.

Then again, there are also voices that are just plain annoying and bitchy as hell. No matter how hot you are, if listening to you speak is akin to putting a cheese grater to my ears, consider my ass gone.

Final Fantasy XIII

The trailer for Final Fantasy XIII amazed when it was unveiled almost half a decade ago. A long time has passed since the announcement, but now that the game is here, does it live up to the name “Final Fantasy?”


Describing the story of most RPG’s is like trying to explain one season of an anime series. It’s too comprehensive to cover in detail, but the basic premise involves a struggle between citizens of Cocoon, a giant floating shell in the sky, and elements of Pulse, the hell-world below.

You’ll get to play as various characters in different situations, but the most prolific is Lightning. The story starts when trains filled with people are being delivered to their extermination, all in order to protect the fearful citizens of cocoon from the threat of “l’cie.” Fal’cie are giant monsters/deities that take care of humans, and l’cie are people who are controlled by a Fal’cie. The entire dynamic between fal’cie, l‘cie, and crystals is standard convoluted Japanese fare that relies on in-depth knowledge of the universe. The included Datalog, which catalogues and records your adventures and every character you meet, is immensely useful in figuring out exactly what the hell is going on. As great as the Datalog is, it also magnifies the weakness of the storytelling, because what kind of story relies on an accompanying encyclopedia just to understand it?

The story presents the necessary ups and downs of an arduous journey filled with challenges, along with some idealistic preaching with a mix of flashbacks to flesh out the details. The characters change over the course of 13 days, and while the story isn’t spectacular, you may become fond of some of the characters, and that in itself, is no small achievement.

FFXIII may be the most linear RPG you may ever play—but that isn’t a bad thing. Gameplay can be broken down into exploration, combat, and watching cutscenes if you’re feeling pedantic. Exploration has been dumbed down and reduced to the simple act of moving an analog stick around. Finally picking up from Half-Life’s innovation of scripted sequences in real-time, you might find yourself running while ships randomly crash in the background as well as other scenes of destruction unfold to give you a sense of conflict and scale. Exploration is straightforward as all pathways are clearly defined. There aren’t many forks and dead-ends usually hold a treasure chest for those who like to go off the beaten path. This may come as an immense disappointment to folks who relish the old school formula of town>overworld>dungeon rinse and repeat template, but for those of us who don’t care, it’s not that bad.

Combat is easily the best part of the game where suites of abilities are associated with a specific “job.” Battle is mostly automated, which calls for the player to switch job configurations on the fly as part of higher-order strategic posturing. Since you only control one character (AI controls the other two), the battle system makes you more like a “coach.” As awful as it may sound, I found the speed of battle fast and rewarding.

One of the most puzzling parts of the game is the weapon upgrade system, which frankly makes no sense. You’ll gather a bunch of organic and machine parts which arbitrarily contribute points towards your weapon’s “levels.” It’s obscure enough to require excel sheets to figure out.

Some people may find Final Fantasy XIII the worst “Final Fantasy” yet but I quite like it a lot. I always hated forks in the road, and towns were simply an excuse to read poorly translated lines of dialogue anyway. With the best combat system in the series and some great music, Final Fantasy XIII is a fantasy worth entertaining.

Working Out

There are certain responses that I always expect to hear simply because I've received it so many times after asking the same question. After graduating, I've been meeting up with a lot of old familiar faces. Since we haven't seen each other in a while, we ask, "What have you been up to lately?" It's called catching up and its always nice to know what the other person's been up.

Almost unanimously, there is one thing that is always included with the usual variation of school and work:

Working out.

At this point, I'm not sure if people are legitimately going to the gym, or if they're just throwing the line out because its the standard thing to say. I guess my question reveals some sort of fundamental lack of trust in my own "friends," but as a journalist, I cannot submit to "blind faith." It is in my nature to question and ponder everything I hear. It's a rather paranoid manner of approaching things, I know, but I value truth more than anything else.

But if what I'm hearing isn't just lip service and is actually the truth, then I am rather glad. Especially when politicians and pundits sound off obesity as one of America's greatest problems, I am secure in the fact that I am in good company, company that isn't contributing to the problem.

And if any of you guys are wondering what I've been up to lately, well...I've just been working out you know?

Bioshock 2

Some games are so good, they make it hard for the successor to live up to expectations. This is the case with Bioshock 2. The funny thing is that Bioshock 2 does everything its predecessor did, except better--the only thing missing is the surprise.

In Bioshock 2, you play as a Big Daddy. Despite your heavy frame, you move surprisingly nimble. In addition to the assortment of pistols, tommy guns, and grenade launchers, you get to wield a gas-powered hand drill, which makes for some particularly brutal encounters. The game follows the same formula as the previous game, where exploration and combat take center stage. Fighting against splicers remain as fun as ever, as you throw a combination of ammunition and plasmids into their faces, stringing together comboes with different powers to maximize damage. The game remains flexible and gives you many combat options from defense-orientated trap setting to Rambo-style full assaults. Enemy types are still the same, with the exception of the big sisters, a more limber version of the big daddy.

While the luster of exploring Rapture has worn off, the place is still detailed and interesting. The environment is still packed with video recordings to give insight in to Rapture society pre-rapture, and minor excursions into the seawater give you an up-close look at coral flora. Ruin is everywhere, the buildings crumble, drip, and leak. Debris and rubble litter the place. The music remains fantastic, echoing an era long past with classic lounge jazz and sad strings to punctuate dramatic moments.

One of the great things about Bioshock is the feeling that you're not alone, that you're only one part of a thriving ecosystem that functions without you. This is further emphasized in the sequel since it gives you direct interaction with the little sisters. AI-controlled characters roam around the world and the feeling of "scripted" is scaled back. Encounters feel more dynamic (even if they aren't) and the game is more polished overall.

Unfortunately, the feeling of "been there, done that" pervades every part of the experience and the final narrative twist isn't as powerful. While there are still some interesting perspective shifts, if you've played the first, there's nothing new here. But don't let that stop you from enjoying a fine sequel. We could all use a little Rapture now and then.

At least until Bioshock Infinite comes out.

999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors

It's hard to categorize a game like 999, especially in terms of accepted western genre classifications. The game is a visual novel with puzzle elements, but I'm sure most of America has no idea what a visual novel is. Luckily, a visual novel is one of the few genre names that actually defines itself quite well. It is a novel with visuals.

The description might sound like a children's book or a comic but it's not. It's specific to video games. The interactive nature of a visual novel gives the reader some level of influence in the story. This influence usually manifests itself in the form of multiple endings. As an introduction to such a niche genre, you can do no better than 999.

You play as a college student named Junpei, who gets home to his apartment only to be knocked unconscious by an ominous figure wearing a gas mask. Next thing you know, you wake up in a ship room with a broken window and seawater pouring in, forcing you to figure a way out. It's actually a rather exciting introduction to a warped scenario. You are part of a group of nine people who have been knocked out the same way and taken to this ship as part of the "nonary game." As you'll soon find out, the nonary game is not exactly a game you'd want to be playing.

Reminiscent of Battle Royale and Psyren, the story is a mix of suspense, mystery, and thrills. Rather than throw spectacular set-pieces to ratchet up that feeling of awe, the game's story accomplishes that through intense characterization and the plot. The story of 999 is something that can only be done through games and you won't get the full story unless you reach all of the endings. Rest assured, the game will blow your mind.

In terms of actual gameplay mechanics, the game is essentially a series of rote button presses to advance dialogue and description text, with the odd choice thrown in for good measure. The puzzle sequences are the only parts of the game that are truly interactive. Puzzles are complex enough to warrant the use of the DS' touch functions which require you to drag, switch on, and combine different items. The puzzles are very much in the vein of classic adventure games where direct interaction with items is done through an inventory screen.

Since the game necessitates repeat playthroughs in order to get to the true ending, there's a decent amount of replay value. My only complaint is that story sequences cannot be skipped entirely, only fast-forwarded. So if you want to get to the new stuff, you have to go through the old stuff again.

There are gamer's games, and then there these kinds of games. This is a special game that demonstrates the possibilities for interactive narrative. In a market flooded by shooters and rehashes, it's always nice to try something new for a change.

Day 16: Finality?

It's been 16 days since I cut myself off from the only thing I knew all my life: school. Now that I'm stranded by myself, untethered by the doldrums of college, I have only silhouettes and mirages to look forward to. This is indeed the most trying period of my life--in more ways than one.

I'm like a train that's been plowing through obstacle after obstacle, but no matter how powerful I am, I'm still bound by a little track. Some people get derailed in life, and some people lay tracks well into the future. I'm neither derailed nor set for life. I suppose its finally time to start laying down some tracks.

The last two weeks have been my little vacation. It's finally time to start up the engine and start running.

Day 15: The Girl I Need

Some time ago, I decided to outline the requirements for my Ideal Girl. As fun as it was to read my rambling and arbitrary set of prerequisites, a small part of me knew better. What else can I expect of myself when my favorite song of all time is You Can't Always Get What You Want? We know what we want, but we don't know what we need. The distinction is important because wants have the tendency to let us down, but needs will always satisfy.

I present: My Ideal Girl, Revised

1. Dating demands that we engage in rituals that we would otherwise never engage in if it weren't for the prospect of acquiring a significant other. In order words: it makes us do stupid out-of-character shit. My first requirement is simple then: she must let me be myself.

If I have to pretend to be somebody else to keep her--then what the hell is the point of being with her? I'm not a caterpillar waiting for a girl to get me into a cocoon so I can emerge a glorious butterfly. I'm already badass. And if she can't recognize that, then I'll gladly sic her on some other insecure bastard who needs a puppeteer in his life.

2. Since dating is a two-way street, it only makes sense that the opposite is also true. I want my girl to be herself. I don't want her catering to my every whim and fancy (okay, maybe I do...just a little bit) just because she wants to be with me. I want to know my girl in all of her complexities and imperfections, no matter how scary it can be. If she tries to hide who she really is, it's only a matter of time before things would break apart anyways.

If a couple is true to themselves, they're true to each other.

3. Most of us don't have the ability to change ourselves through sheer force of willpower. The most natural way that we grow and evolve is through relationships. In a relationship, change is inevitable. No matter how firmly fixed our personalities are, we have to submit to change if we want to grow. My last requirement is simple: my girl has to make me a better person. It's unfortunate when relationships ends on bad terms leaving nothing but hatred and resentment in its wake. Even if my girl were to leave me, she would leave me a better person, wiser, more experienced, and filled with hope for the future.

Given the choice between my ideal girl and the girl I need, I think the answer is obvious.

Give me what I need!

Batman Arkham Asylum

If one wonders how Super Metroid would be look like as a fully realized 3D game, look no further than Batman Arkham Asylum. Batman remarkably emulates the same sense of exploration, dread, and growth that Super Metroid does.

The level design is outstanding is regards to its three basic gameplay types: exploration, combat, and predator.

The landscapes are visually dazzling and hold true to the grim and gritty style of the Batman comics. Elevation changes and obstacles make exploration challenging and varied. Areas that inaccessible at first can be revisited with the help of new gadgets--harking back to the Super Metroid template of new abilities unlocking new areas.

Arena-levels serve the combat system to ensure that the camera is always on the action. Combat is amazingly fluid and makes multi-enemy encounters an absolute joy. A mix of techniques that include jumps, blocks, parries, grapple hooks, and batarangs make the process of beating up bad guys a game of "what awesome thing should I bust out now?"

The best part of the game are the predator-style challenges where you can take out a whole room of bad guys in true Batman fashion--stealthily. The game gives you access to all of batman's most famous tools like the grapple hook and even his detective skills, which manifest in the form of "detective-vision" to plot out a plan of attack.

Perhaps the only slight I can put against Batman: AA is that the detective elements don't require too much thought. It simply boils down to following bread crumbs. As great as the environments look, the characters are a different story. I don't know if its a symptom of the game's art style, but every character in the game is ugly. I don't expect the denizens of Arkham Asylum to look like Rob Pattinson mind you, but their blocky bodies gives me flashbacks to PS2-era character modeling. Other than that, the game runs very smoothly.

The world is rich with small details and things to do. You can smash the Joker's clattering teeth, solve the Riddler's riddles, or continue with the main quest and take down Batman's greatest foes one by one. The challenge modes gives the game replayability but the outstanding single-player makes the game worthy of any serious gamer's collection.

While some may view The Dark Knight as the greatest superhero movie ever, Arkham Asylum goes one step further and establishes itself as the greatest superhero video game ever--even better, it's one of the greatest games of this generation.

At least until Arkham City comes out.

Day 14: How To Write an Email

Every week, UCI sends out an email called "Anteater Weekly #." It is the most atrocious form of communication I have ever come across. It is a barely organized coherent mess of text, dates, numbers, and names. Any self-respecting person of literary stature would not even deign to read it, nor pretend to.

My best advice in regards to packaging such information in an easy to read format is this:

Bullet points.

Assassin's Creed 2

Assassin's Creed was a good game that suffered from a case of jack of all trades but master of none syndrome (applicable to every open-world game really). I quite enjoyed the first AC despite complaints from critics about its repetitive nature. The free-flow combat system was an elegant combination of satisfying core mechanics and a beautiful cinematic style. There was a rhythm to the combat where you blocked, parried, and countered, forming an intricate dance of death.

From an objective standpoint, AC2 addressed every problem with the first game. Mission types are more varied, terrain is more layered and interesting to navigate, and a lot more subsystems have been implemented to enrich the experience. This include a dash of collectibles with glyphs, eagle eye scans, and weapons. The addition of a town that you can improve and renovate gives you an excuse to spend money on things other than killing instruments.

With the problems of mission structure and gameplay variety addressed, I'm sad to see the combat system suffer from an increase in arbitrary difficulty with the introduction of enemy types that can't be instant killed with one fancy counter. While the new system requires more patience and thought, creating a more strategic combat environment overall, the elegant rhythm of the old system has now disappeared. What was once a dance is now a stop-and-pop affair with lots of waiting and circling. I enjoyed the old combat much better.

Despite that, Assassin's Creed 2 is an improvement in every aspect. The storyline, deeply intertwined with real-life historical figures and political intrigue, is multi-layered though not terribly riveting on a personal level. The characters are fantastic from a design standpoint but threadbare in terms of depth. The narrative arc encompasses a couple decades which lends the story a bit of grandeur. Renaissance-era Italy is a great playground for the player's assassin shenanigans. Tools and abilities granted during the course of the game allow the player to interact with the world in a manner of interesting ways, such as flying over the cityscape with a pair of artificial wings.

In summary, AC2 is a good game. It has enough content to easily entertain for 30+ hours. Although the game is slick, polished, and packed with things to do, one can't help but feel that the game is...shallow. It's a better jack, but it still ain't a master.

Day 13: Life

One of literature's longest running gags is the question: what is the meaning of life? Such a broad question can elicit multitudes of answers ranging from seriously life-altering to cheeky. In either case, whenever it is asked, it is never in serious fashion.

But before we can even begin to answer such questions, we must first unpack it. Before we ask what "life" means, let's figure out what "life" is.

So what is life? It's a very interesting thing. I look at it as one giant amorphous blob that can encompass everything. It's a different beast for everyone. It can be amazing, tragic, sad, and wonderful. It is filled with disconnects, leaps of logic, and coincidences. When you think about how our lives intersect with our families, friends, and strangers, it's rather amazing--even crazier, it's also droll. Life can go from dull in one moment to insane the next.

The reason why the meaning of life is such a running gag is because we can hardly define what life even is.

This past week has been eye-opening for me. Sometimes you never know what lurks underneath a smiling exterior. It makes me appreciate the blessed life I lead.

As much as I hate David Henry Thoreau, he was on to something when it came to life. To live simply is simply the best way to live. There's no need for deception, half-truths, or justifications.

Be as you are and enjoy it.

Day 12: Process

I wish somebody would invent a machine that could extract, cull, and optimize the best thoughts from our heads and package it in easy-to-communicate form. Such an invention would revolutionize our creative output and can easily sink our culture into a new era of decadence or utopian idealistic realization. We would either drown in a deluge of pointless prattling stories or shower in a glorious world where everything is distilled into pure brilliance. Anybody can be a storyteller. No effort is needed. No longer do we have to go through the torturous cycle of revision. What we lay out on our canvases will already be our best work.

If only.

For the rest of us, we gotta hack it out like an old engine running on bad gas.

Day 11: Shot

March 5th started like any other Saturday. There were minor variations, like my good friend from San Diego visiting. Because occasions like this are rare, we must celebrate in rare fashion. But on this day, I learned something very important:

Taking 9 shots of vodka within a one hour span is definitely not a good idea. Considering I spent the night throwing up the same number of times as shots I took, and then some--don't do it.

Disclaimer: Any and all evidence of the night no longer exists.

Medal of Honor

The market for military shooters is a lucrative one and it was only a matter of time that the franchise that spawned the genre would eventually suit up and get back into action. From Danger Close Games and EA comes Medal of Honor, with all the modern trimmings you’d expect in a post-Modern Warfare world. Does the franchise still have what it takes to take on the Call of Duty juggernaut?

It might be unfair to compare the two, but the reality is, these games were born from the same heavily scripted, linear, but utterly spectacular campaign design mold. Any criticism of the game would be a criticism of the gameplay template itself.

You play as a branch of para-militaristic “Tier 1” operators who clean up before the cavalry arrives (at least that’s my impression). The game never really explains anything to you, but as the old adage goes: show, not tell. You jump in the boots of several soldiers from different squads (in true CoD fashion) and fight through battles from multiple perspectives. It’s very cool to jump from one set of eyes to another, but it does so at the expense of any one character. In true military fashion, you’re a mute grunt who merely follows orders. This keeps the pace moving, as you go through the motions, following NPC directives to hold your shot until countdown or planting charges on high-value targets. Aside from brief spurts of vehicle action, you spend much of your time shooting Al-Qaeda in the face.

As always, the conflict takes center stage (despite how scattershot it is) and the characters are left to the wayside. It makes the few CG sequences that are in the game less meaningful and the interplay between armchair general and on-the-field officer isn’t anything new. Everything comes together in the end on one final rescue mission.

A key advantage MoH holds over its brethren is the omission of invisible trigger lines. There are no grandstands that require you to cross an invisible line to stop infinite respawns and the frequency of grenades is considerably lessened. The grand stands still exist, but they’re timed instead.

You’ll take a ride on ATV’s, control the guns on attack choppers, and play with all sorts of different toys. You can crouch, sprint, and prone, switch firing rates, toggle, NVG’s, and melee. It checks off all the prerequisites for a “military shooter.”

The graphics demonstrate some nice lighting but the brown towns of the Middle East aren’t that interesting, despite some interesting forays into the snowy mountains. The particle effects are muted in the explosions but the terrain is detailed.

The soundtrack features some very nice tracks and all the sound effects draw up the necessary tension. You’ll get familiar with the voice-acting, which isn’t bad at all.

The game features a Tier 1 mode where players can replay the game under time constraints and points are awarded for kills. As always, there’s the multiplayer option that lifts the CoD template with awards and play progression. The limited map selection may quickly tire players out.

Medal of Honor may not dazzle, but it’s a solid game with sound mechanics. Some see mediocrity as a mark of failure, but the game doesn’t make rookie mistakes. It calls into question whether developers should aspire to flawed masterpieces, or perfect mediocrity.

Day 10: Victorious

I think I have an allergic reaction to Nick's shows. Quality varies from show to show but Victorious is among those which I consider "bad." It's one thing to work off of established tropes and tired cliches, but damn is it relentless in its portrayal of high school life set in some gaudy film school for hipster kids. Throw in some irredeemable characters whose most personable trait is being a bitch, annoying, and oblivious, and you have yourself a recipe for a crappy show. The biggest problem is that kids eat it up like nothing.

God forbid they start modeling after what they watch.

Day 9: Advance Warning

The first thing that happens to me once I wake up is a receive a text that tells me to get "ready." So I get dressed and go hang out with my friends who, in their infinite wisdom, decide to go to the freakin' Irvine Spectrum all so that we can eat at Red Robin. Talk about efficient utilization of resources.

For future reference, let's all partake in an activity called "planning" before making the abrupt decision to simply "go out."

Day 8: Inspiration

One of the things I like about Facebook is the update wall. With one glance, I can see what everybody is up to. Most elect to update their current status with the latest issue they're dealing with or just some odd experience they encountered. Others post their witticisms for the day and sometimes, it's simply a vicious display of vanity. You would think that with all the nonsense plastered on the wall, something would actually stick.

I tried. I really tried. But there is absolutely nothing worth talking about--much less inspirational--about anything that anybody has posted on their walls. People should learn to separate the wheat from the chaff because if everybody posted wheat, nobody would be hungry. As it is though, I'm feeding on chaff and it ain't good for my stomach. Let's not be generous here.

Be judicious.

And raise the bar for social networking.

Day 7: Leadership

There is no greater display of leadership than the ability to decisively take a group out to eat.

How often have you found yourself with your friends waffling on the decision of which fine establishment to go to in order to satisfy one's appetite for the night? Too often I say! Either everybody has no idea where to go or everybody has a different idea of where to go. The end result is that we all stand around clueless, puzzled, and irate for half an hour before actually doing anything.

Be decisive, pick a place, and stick with it. Display your true ability and be a leader!

Day 6: Ban the Word...

As a humanities major, I would like to ban the word "interesting." Interesting as an adjective has now become a generic catch-all phrase to denote anything remotely out of the ordinary. Instead of actually thinking about the right word to actually define what makes a thing "interesting," everybody elects to just say that it's "interesting." Never has a word worn out its own meaning so quickly.

Day 5

Analogies are great. They let you understand things that you wouldn't be able to otherwise. It's a shift in perspective. That's why I try to reframe everything in terms of video games. Games are my language, it's how I understand the world; through a series of gameplay mechanics and complex systems. So when I try to inject myself with some much needed motivation, I have to make life a game.

It's hard to try to micromanage your own life Sims be damned. I am horrible at following my own directives. Which is why a program like Wunderlist is a godsend. It's an app for the iPod/Phone that keeps track of your tasks. So what's so great about it? It's a simple and intuitive system for keeping track of all your objectives for the day and as we all know, gaming is all about completing objectives. And it's awesome to see a giant checklist crossed off just to let your know how accomplished your day was. Sometimes you make up mundane tasks that you were already going to do just so you can check something else off that list.

I might be getting addicted to completing tasks.

Day 4

Some people just don't know what they want to do. It's why a rather large majority of incoming freshman come in as "undeclared." While it's a way of keeping your options open, it's really just a lack of direction. That's why you have things such as super-seniors and fools who tack on extra majors and minors all in an effort to delay their entry into the real world. Now that I have woken up from a 21 year-long and very educational dream, it's finally time to make my way through life.

To be honest, I have no idea where to go, but I do know one thing: the places I want to avoid. Therefore, the secret for any recent graduate is the system of POE--otherwise known as the process of elimination. I have already eliminated graduate school from my plans since I see that as another form of escape from the real world (but I might go back in 5 years or so) and I have eliminated specialized jobs that I have no qualifications for. I probably won't be doing anything in the fields related to engineering, medicine, computer science, or math. On the opposite side, I don't wanna be doing menial jobs such as operating cash registers or mopping up floors.

So where does that leave us? Well there's still a lot of things I haven't eliminated but like I said, even if I have no direction, I definitely know where I don't wanna go.

For now, it shall suffice.

Day 3

Now that I’m graduated from school, I find myself in a position eerily similar to the beginning of Fallout 3.

After having lived within the comfortable confines of a giant bomb shelter for the last 21 years of my life, I now emerge in a new wasteland of endless opportunities. Rather than treat the situation with a kind of dole-eyed awe reserved for first-time visitors to Disneyland, I am simply paralyzed. Fallout 3 may not be the most apt analogy for what I’m feeling right now since I was bored to tears with it after one hour of play but the feeling is remarkably similar. When the possibilities stretch out towards the horizon, sometimes all you want to do is stay still and admire the sight.

At least until you realize that staying still doesn’t pay the bills.

Day 2

I was never a fan of the idea of “working hard.” As if all the world’s problems could be solved with something as plain as hard work. The idea is a byproduct of the old generation, a generation lacking experience with today’s technology. If working hard was the answer, then we wouldn’t need such prattling things as innovation, progress, and advancement. I’m not discounting the notion of hard work entirely, but I feel that hard work is fool’s gold, the go-to for fools who are, well, fools. I mean, if they were smart, then they wouldn’t be called fools in the first place.

So now that I pretty much rejected the good ol’ American value of hard work, what is there to take its place? 

Being smart of course. Don’t work harder, work smarter. 

I’m not throwing this out as some kind counter-mainstream anti-hipster derp derp drivel—I’m saying this because it’s the truth. I can go into my photo galleries, crop, and resize all of my pictures manually—and it is certainly hard work—or I could just run it through a batch command and finish the task in a fraction of the time. We have to leverage our knowledge and make it work for us rather than submit ourselves to tedium because of some misguided work ethic. 

If we just needed to be smart, then we wouldn’t have such an untapped population of college graduates doing jack squat, so obviously being smart isn’t the only answer. This is where hard work comes in. You can’t just blindly work hard and hope success will come your way. You have to work hard, smartly. 

Both things are required: you have to work smart and hard -- work “smard.”

Okay, perhaps “smard” isn’t the best portmanteau. Maybe “hart” is better… and since it rhymes with heart, it just adds to the meaning. There you have it, the true secret to success.

Working harter.

Day One

I once read that the average time it takes to go from "done with school" to "I got a job" is about 6 months. I can't help but think, "Will it really take me half a year just to find a job?" I'm in unfamiliar territory without a map, compass, or any half-way decent tool for basic navigation. For the first time in my life, I'm lost.

Every thing good that has happened to me has come about thanks to my unique ability to attract good fortune. I'm just a victim of circumstance--albeit, good circumstance. Still, it's not exactly a winning recipe for surefire success. I highly doubt that a lucrative job offer will be knocking on my doorstep just because I wait for it. Instead, some lucky bastard out there is waiting for me to start knocking on his door.

It's Day One and the first thing I have to get used to is doing something during downtime. I suppose its finally time to start getting into a routine. Therefore, I promise that from this day on, I will:

1. Post a blog entry every day
2. Get through my entire gaming backlog
3. Finish all my creative side projects
4. Start jogging, and then from that, start working out in general
5. Put together "The Plan"
6. Finally, find a job
7. ????
8. Profit!