Goodbye, Dear Friend

As we grow older, we must contend with the prospect of loss. It's a natural part of life. People come and go and we lose touch with dear friends. It's sad, but it's also an important part of learning how to move forward.

The worst thing we can do is lament over the past. We can't stay stagnant forever wishing for days gone. Sooner or later, we must get back on our feet and face an uncertain future without them. People never truly disappear anyways. As long as you remember, you'll always carry a piece of them with you.

Still, it's always a regrettable thing when someone you once knew disappears. And that's precisely what happened to one of my good friends. It's one thing to get a girlfriend but once you throw Pokemon Go into the mix, that's game over, man. There's no coming back from that. We haven't exchanged words in weeks.

Every time I think of reaching out, I hesitate because I know that I would never receive anything in reply. To encounter this crushing disappoint would only be an exercise in self-torture. Therefore, it's best for both parties to pretend that the other no longer exists.

He is but a passing existence who only makes cameos in my dreams. I'll wake up and wonder whatever happened and forget about him until his next appearance whenever that may be.

Should I receive some sort of communication from him, I'll treat it a residual echo from the afterlife much like a grieving widow who once in a while catches a glimpse of her beloved. Tis nothing more than a delusion for the reality is that he is dead and buried forever.

Goodbye, dear friend. It was nice knowing you.

Rest Hard

I've worked for 17 days straight. There was at least thirty minutes committed to the menial task of work each day. This past weekend was a long overdue break. I've finally got 48 hours of uninterrupted peace. I think I've earned it.

I didn't know how much I needed it until I finally got it. I guess this makes up for taking two weeks off for vacation several months ago. If you work hard, you also gotta rest hard. All things in equal measure.

Breezy Walks

Today was a reprieve from the heat. I daresay it was great weather. The sun was blazing red from behind a cloudy haze. I'm not sure if it was natural cloud cover or smog. The first part of the trail was peaceful with wildlife out in full force. It was like walking in a Disney forest with critters and birds cheering me on.

Where was everybody? And as soon as I thought that, people showed up. I love me a long lonely desolate stretch of no people. I usually take it easier on Saturday by walking instead of running. This lets me appreciate my speed. I don't realize how fast I run until I'm walking. It takes forever to get anywhere this way.

The weather truly was a far cry from the last time I ran. Before, the tiniest sliver of sunlight barely peeking over the horizon was enough to get me sweating. Today's haze did a remarkable job of dulling the heat, even if it was slightly humid. It was so breezy, I decided the run the last half of the route. That felt nice!

Hyperdimension Neptunia Part 2

Re;birth has a feature where you can add stronger enemies to existing dungeons. They're not really stronger enemies though. They're more like an extra boss. Even though I'm ten levels higher than I was when I cleared the dungeon, they can regenerate everything I throw at them. I need to be 20+ levels to beat these stupid things.

And this is after I got to level 25 and unlocked my first EXE move, which I thought was amazing since I could one shot normal bosses. Just when I thought I've reached the next level, there's always something more powerful around the corner. The game just does not want me to become beast. Ever since Persona 3, I don't feel like a JRPG truly starts until after 20 hours in, so there's still more to come. I'll destroy everything in due time. Just you wait.

Hyperdimension Neptunia

After 3 months of sitting on the 64gb card I bought from Japan, I finally filled it up with all the PS Vita games I've been collecting digitally over the years. I recently started up Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth and after clearing the first dungeon, I thought this game was going to be a piece of cake.

Then they started throwing one shot kill enemies at me. I've died more in one hour than I have in all of Tales of Xillia 2, and I've already logged in over 10 hours in that one. Here I thought I was in for a nice and relaxing romp through a parody of the console wars. Joke's on me. At least grinding is easy.

This is really the first proper JRPG I've played on the Vita and I can see why the genre is such a great fit for the system. Just jump in, grind out a few levels, and continue. I could certainly use this kind of simplicity given the constraints of my current day schedule. Hopefully it won't take me forever to beat the game.

Now back to grinding...

Pokemon a Go Go, Baby

Pokemon Go is a bona fide phenomenon. It always seemed obvious that the instant Pokemon goes mobile, it'd explode. It'll be interesting to see how it evolves from here but they sure got their work cut out for them, even if they're raking in millions by the minute.

My interest isn't piqued since I don't have the hardware for it (no data and old phone) and since the mainline entries can barely retain my attention, I don't think a stripped down mobile friendly version will be any more engaging. That said, I can see its immense impact by just walking outside.

There's a trail that I've been running ever since I got back from Japan and I've never seen it as packed as it was today. The ratio of people walking with their eyes glued to their phones shot up exponentially and there is no other reason than Pokemon Go. I think this is a good thing. The more reasons to be active the better.

I just hope its not some temporary trend that peters out in a couple months. Nintendo are pretty good at this kind of thing, and considering the return on investment they're getting, I'm sure they have their best minds on it. Maybe once I upgrade my hardware I'll get in on the craze. It's never too late to try to catch 'em all.

A Jaunt Through History

I'm one of the lucky few invited to the Battlefield 1 closed alpha. Launch day destroyed me. I played from afternoon to 7 the next morning with nary a break in between. My productivity was lost to say the least. There are things I like and don't like.

The first thing that jumped out to me was how hard it was to see. Sunlight, smoke, fog, and all sorts of visual noise get in the way frequently. Since spotting is nerfed, I don't have as many markers to help me sort foe from friendlies.

In BF4, I spent half my time staring at the radar. Hardly anything shows up on it in BF1 -- at least when I first jumped in. My teammates seem to have gotten better at spotting as the days passed, but the minimap still lacks a lot of information that I'm used to seeing. Since live fire no longer shows up on the map, I have to use my eyes and ears to get a bead on the situation.

Map knowledge is paramount. I'm a lot better at checking the usual hiding spots but for those uninitiated, prepare to be killed from every conceivable angle. It took a lot of deaths to acquire familiarity with the terrain, and even then, I'll get flanked from some random direction every now and then.

One thing I don't like is the increased auto aim. It's almost Call of Duty levels of snap on. As a longtime console BF veteran, I'm used to no aim assist. Hell, I got my start in online console gaming with Socom, so I'm disappointed with the level of aim assist in BF1. It levels the skill gap significantly. Before, I would routinely take out guys who get the drop on me only because my aim is superior, but I no longer have that advantage.

So far I like it, but I don't love it. I hope things will be tweaked for a smoother game experience when the beta releases.

Overdramatic

K-dramas are too long and J-dramas are a bit short. J-dramas seem to have a little give at the end but I can't be mad at being left wanting more. Means they did a good job. On the other hand, K-dramas go on and on forever.

Having just finished Single Dad in Love with an ending that is equal parts ballsy and bullshit, I am left with a profound sense of disappointment and a sneaking suspicion that I have wasted this entire 4th of July weekend on low tier filler.

Whelp, no use crying over spilled milk. Them's just the breaks. All I know is that I should be damn weary about starting any new shows from now on. The sunk cost fallacy ends up costing far more than if I just quit cold turkey, but with my strong duty of seeing things through to the end, the winning move is to not play.

Kicks

I've been binging on anime lately and one genre that I've been squeezing to pulp is the "normal guy ends up in a fantasy world" genre. My most recent victim is Re: ZERO, which is slightly more interesting than usual because of its dark undertones, but it's also got one of the most annoying garbage protagonists I've ever had the displeasure of standing in for me. What an annoying guy.

What recently kicked off my anime watching spree was season 2 of Psycho-Pass, and I'm reminded of how much of a sucker I am for high concept media like that. This is why I'm intrigued by The Purge: Election Year no matter what kind of ratings it gets. I can't get enough of fucked up societies.

I was totally blown away by the season finale of Game of Thrones. The last couple season finales ended with a whimper so my expectation weren't high, but I was totally blown away this time. Bravo.

I finally caught up in Digmon and I can't believe the next release is in September. That's to far away. It's also a trip (literally and figuratively) to have actually visited Odaiba for reals. I'm anime, yo. Anything that takes place in Tokyo, I can say that I've been there. So cool.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Wednesday's usually aren't this exciting, but it appears that we've arrived at a turning point in our household. My older brother has officially abandoned home. He's moving out of state to who knows where. He's not telling anyone.

Preparations for this abrupt departure had begun months ago. He was planning to give us the slip while no one was paying attention. It would've worked except that I work from home and he took too long to pack his things. Instead of slinking off into the night, I had to see my mother in tears trying to convince him to stay. It didn't work.

He got fed up with my brother in law. Even I was getting tired of watching him get hassled repeatedly for rent money. While he has personal responsibility issues, that's no reason to exacerbate his already deep malaise. No amount of lecturing can snap someone out of their apathy.

My brother in law comes from the old school of hard knocks. Sadly, that kind of approach is outdated. Tough love is just another word for abuse. You don't tell someone who is depressed to cheer up. A modicum of sympathy is necessary to arrive at a mutual understanding. 

My brother concluded that there was nothing for him here. He found no peace or calm in this house and that his only recourse was to leave. The decision is quite impressive in some respects. Aside from my parents, he had always lived at home.

This is the first time he's demonstrated a shred of independence. It's finally time to break free, spread your wings, and soar! If there's anything to take from his departure, it's the courage to move forward on my own. Brother, wherever you are, I hope the world treats you a whole lot better than our house did. 

Godspeed, brother. Godspeed.

Crunch Time

Me and my friend took a day trip to Vegas. Not much happened but we accomplished what we set out to do. If anything, I saw it as an opportunity to stretch out my legs. Our plan was to walk out of the airport to the strip and we were successful. We saved money on transport, but we were dead on our feet. With all the flying and walking that happened, I actually fell asleep early from sheer fatigue. That hardly ever happens.

The next day, I reaped the rewards of my weekly aerobic training. Despite the rigorous workout the day prior, my legs felt fresh. My preparation for Japan has paid off. There will be lots more walking in the future, and now I'm confident I can handle my ambitious itinerary.

Departure is less than a month away and this is where all preparations must be completed. Every detail must be vetted and vetted again. I can't overlook anything. I must consider every possible scenario to make this trip one to remember for the ages. No more slacking off. The clock is ticking. 

Too Much Stuff

A big reason why I'm staying up so late is because I'm consuming way too much content these days. If it's not manga, then I'm watching YouTube videos. I'm subscribed to several guys and I really like their stuff. New videos are coming out everyday and hours are lost to the nether thanks to these guys. 

The first guy I'm subscribed to is ChrisSmoove. I watch mainly for his NBA 2K videos and Madden. I enjoy his Madden videos more than his 2K ones. His latest Let's Play is Far Cry Primal and that's been interesting, especially since he's been condensing them and removing the filler. Somehow, I get the feeling that Primal isn't going to be a very long series. His Let's Plays have been dying premature deaths lately. I can understand since his bread and butter is sports games.

The second guy I'm subscribed to OneCheesyMofo, or "Nacho." He's my go-to for Battlefield videos. He does Call of Duty, Hardline, and some other shooters from time to time. I've been feasting like a madman in Battlefield 4 recently. I credit my success to watching his videos. It's not like I'm watching for tactics, but I might've unconsciously picked up a few strategies that could explain my recent beast performances. 

My latest subscription is to ChristopherOdd, who I watch for XCOM. I enjoy his narrative game playthroughs as well, such as Firewatch and Gone Home. He's got that Canadian geniality which is very charming. He is amazing at XCOM. I'm a save scummer so seeing him play a tactical RPG with Ironman enabled is pretty tense. One mistake and you're screwed. His latest campaign in XCOM 2 has been a lot of fun to watch. 

These bastards are the reason why I'm not falling asleep until five in the morning. I can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing. Either way, I hope they keep up the good work. 

Rolling in the Deep

I've got too much money. 

Okay, one can never have too much money, but a bevy on developments have left me with a huge surplus and I have no idea what to do with it. Since I'm constantly working all day long, I haven't really had a chance to redo my budget. 

Since I'm working as an independent contractor, I get paid weekly. On top of my tax return, the Lunar New Year got me a decent amount of change. I've got a whole lot of cash to earmark for future use now. I've pretty much covered any lingering debt from my Black Friday spree so this is all gravy. I guess I can put it all on my trip to Japan or just keep it close to the vest. 

Knowing me, I'm just gonna sit on it. Nothin' wrong with that.

Waking Late

The theme of this week is waking late. Sleep is a luxury. I've been deprived of it for so long that my body lusts for it. I need my sleep and now that nothing is getting in my way, I'm overindulging. I can't say this is a bad thing since I'm bad at sleeping. Anything to restore my body to something that resembles the average adult's biorhythm is good in my book.

Of course, nothing comes without a price. I'm getting more sleep at the expense of free time. I feel like all I do these days is work. I'm working from the moment I wake up all the way to midnight. A lot of this has to do with the generous breaks I take at home, and another part of it is simply not waking early enough.

It'll take some time, but I'm sure I can get back on schedule. Once I catch up with my work, I plan on waking up earlier by 30 minutes each day. I'll eventually rewind my wake up time somewhere in the ballpark of ten in the morning. That's fine by me.

I started working out again this week since my body is finally up for it, but I've still got a lingering cough that will probably stick with me for the rest of the month. The same thing happened the last time I got sick.

If I had actually gotten any prescribed medication, this is where I take it until it's gone, but since I went with over the counter cough syrup, I'm just gonna ride it out with cough drops. I'm probably gonna be sucking on a whole lot of them while I'm watching Deadpool by myself.

Sick and the Street Fighter V

I've been laid out like a mother this entire week. I wasn't doing myself any favors by playing the SFV beta, but when time is limited, you gotta squeeze all the play you can get.

Predictably, I started off as a total scrub. Throughout the weekend, I managed to land myself somewhere in the top 10k. That's probably my ceiling in terms of skill. To get any higher would require too much investment.

I stopped playing SF4 because I hit a wall. I was getting way too pissed off. This time, I'm changing my frame of mind. I'm gonna be casual. I'm here to enjoy the fight. It's not all about winning. I'll try to improve wherever I can, but becoming pro is not my goal.

SFV is launching in less than two weeks. This has certainly been one hell of an appetizer. I can't wait for the full release.

What Matters Most

I've reconnected with Onepunch-Man. I finally watched the anime and was blown away. I was afraid that the animation wouldn't live up to the absurdly high standards set by Murata, but I'm happy to be proven wrong.

The last episode left me shaking with sweaty palms and a pounding heart. I haven't experienced something this epic since the conclusion of Gurren Lagann -- which remains to this day my personal benchmark for "epic." With the way the manga is shaping up, however, it may soon reach that level should a hypothetical second season materialize.

ONE, the author of Onepunch-Man, is proof that as long as your ideas are great, it doesn't matter how bad your art is. The same holds true for writing. After you get past the misspellings, the bad grammar, and all the stuff that wannabe editors latch on as proof that the work is objectivity shit, you'll realize that what matters most are the ideas. Some of the best stories I've read were hidden under layers of shit writing. 

There are writers and there are storytellers. When they become one and the same, that's when you have something truly special on your hands. Writing can be practiced by writing more, but storytelling is something that gets refined by experience. Whether you draw from memories or other works, storytelling is something you practice by living. 

And the Award Goes to...

I'll have to go against the grain and declare unequivocally that Mad Max shouldn't win Best Picture. Anyone campaigning at its behest clearly has not seen any of the other contenders. My pick is still Spotlight. I have no idea how The Revenant won at the Golden Globes. It's a good film -- probably the most beautiful that I've seen this year -- but there are better ones out there like Room. 

After the Golden Globes, I thought I'd be primed for a heated discussion about movies since I headed out to a birthday dinner that same evening. One of my friends is a movie nut. I can stand toe to toe when it comes to the intricacies of Academy Award history and various other aspects of the film industry. I'm usually the guy that always knows the name of actors on the tip of tongues. Browsing IMDB is a familiar past time. 

This weekend is the first time that I get to stay home and relax. Nothing good in theaters. It's get tiring to go out every weekend. Sometimes, I don't want to do anything. Just leave me be! Thanks to some unfortunate circumstances in the world of MS, some discussion may be required to sort out future travel plans and liquidation strategies.

There's always something that needs attending. I eagerly await the day the world stops spinning. 

No Dice

Fantasy works precisely because it's fantasy. The drawbacks of reality are conveniently omitted. Nobody likes to be dragged down to earth because we're constantly reminded of it everyday. Only through dreams can we feel alive and rise above the grind. And that's why we chase silly ideas like winning the lottery. 

I spent too much time fantasizing about what I'd do with the hypothetical winnings than focusing on my job. With that much money, I can do anything. It's fun to dream, but alas, we must focus on the bitter world before us.

My dream is help others dream. Without ideals, there's nothing to look forward to.  So, even if I didn't win the jackpot, that doesn't mean I should stop fantasizing. It just means I have to get more creative. Besides, everybody knows that winning the lottery at the end of the story is a cop out. Like everyone else, I gotta do this the long and hard way.

Resolution 2.0

I looked at my resolutions from last year and laughed. I pretty much failed everything. Hardly any progress. But just because I failed doesn't mean I have to give up now. I never put a time limit on my goals. It just means I'm taking the long road.

I'm already employed so my new goal is to get employed by an even better place. I'm tired of slaving away for peanuts. I can live on peanuts just fine, but it'll be nice to have something a little more substantial. Enough to become independent.

Here are my goals for 2016:

1. Exceed a net worth of $20,000.
2. Go on a big trip and travel abroad.
3. Finish one or even more stories of FF.net.
4. Transition into original writing.
5. Make some headway into my gaming backlog.
6. Start dating.
7. Get paid better or a better paying job.

Welcome to 2016, year of Jomatto 2.0.