Prestige Weekend

I spent my Christmas weekend watching Oscar bait. They're the kind of movies that debut at film festivals so that they can intercut the trailers with superlative quotes. You'd think that every one of these films were the greatest thing since Citizen Kane.

I crossed quite a few off my list. They included Brooklyn, Carol, Spotlight, Room, Trumbo, Joy, Beasts of No Nation, The Danish Girl, Concussion, and among others,

The common thread between all these are Golden Globe nominations. It'll be interesting to see how the Oscars will shake out. The Golden Globes are my current road map to what's good. I've yet to see The Revenant, The Big Short, and The Hateful Eight.

I want to be able to make an informed prediction, and that's only possible by seeing everything. I'm still juggling judgement in my head, but so far, my front runners for best picture are Spotlight and Room. There were many fine films this year, but those two in particular are on another level.  

Star Wars Weekend

I did things backwards and watched the entire Star Wars saga after seeing The Force Awakens. It's easy to see why this series became such a phenomenon. I liked A New Hope the best. The Empire Strikes Back is overrated. It suffers from "middle of the pack" syndrome where nothing of substance actually happens. The only good part is the battle of Hoth. Everything else is middling.

The reception to The Force Awakens has been interesting. Thanks to Rey, the wider world has now been exposed to a term that fanfiction writers like myself have already grappled with for years -- Mary Sue.

For the record, I don't think Rey is a Mary Sue and I don't mind that she's good at everything, because she lives in a fictional universe where there's a ready-made explanation for every possible plot contrivance imaginable -- it's called "the force."

So I'm all in on Star Wars now and I don't know how long it'll be until I get myself out. Probably until I finish the Clone Wars series.

Getting Ready

Vegas was a prototype for my trip to Japan. You never know how something will happen until it happens. Aside from the usual concerns like where we're gonna stay or how we're gonna feed ourselves, Vegas was a test of endurance. Our plan was to stay up all night. We failed.

If we couldn't do it in Vegas, I doubt we could do it in Japan. Unlike America, night clubs live up to their name. The action starts at midnight and real dancers don't go home until the morning sun rises. I could barely keep my eyes open and all we did was lounge around bars. If I'd been dancing, I'd be dead on my feet.

I've been working on my stamina. You can call it light training. I've been running a couple miles a week and doing long walks along the riverbank. I'm trying to get a good mix of jogging and extended walking. It'll still be another couple months before the trip, but I should be in great shape by then.

It's been difficult to get back into the regimen since Vegas screwed up my sleep schedule. The lingering aftereffects are still being felt. To make things worse, the Uncharted 4 beta kept me up all night in the following weekend. I haven't had a chance to recover at all.

In that respect, the trip wasn't a waste. I've got a better handle on future trips now. At least I got one great memory out of it. Taking off from McCarran and seeing the Strip awash in morning light with the Mighty Rio Grande playing on my headphones was a transcendent moment that bordered on divine. First time seeing Vegas from above.

You don't get moments like those everyday.

Back in Vegas

This needs to be a good one.

My last few visits have been lackluster. I'm starting to think that Vegas is good for only one night. Any more and I get worn down. I'm obligated to stay an extra day because of the arduous journey. Driving over 300 miles ain't no joke.

With my upcoming trip, however, I get to skip that headache entirely. I'll be flying in for two nights and one day of action.

The most important part of a successful trip is the preparation. Knowing everything that can happen beforehand is paramount. I don't do spontaneity because that means unchecked losses. Bring an amount I'm comfortable with losing and cap it at that.

One weekend later...

Having come back from Vegas, I gotta say... I should've waited longer to return. I don't have much love for a place where everything is out to rip me off. Fortunately, I was able to exercise total cost control -- to a degree. Damage was limited at best. 

I also discovered something new: I hate gambling. I don't care if everyone around me is winning big time because I won't do it. It's blind luck. Sure, they might win big and leave me in the dust, but they're developing a pattern of behavior that has proven over the long run to be detrimental to all but the luckiest. 

There's no such thing as free money. I've spent my entire life budgeting and saving. Who do you think comes out positive at the end? The spendthrift or the gambler?

Maybe it's just sour grapes because the trip didn't start out on the right foot. My phone froze and I had to get a paper ticket. I spent ten minutes panicking because my touchscreen wouldn't respond. I had to manually go into the boot menu, which is tricky for my phone.

I got stopped at TSA because of oversized liquid containers and was forced to check my bag, and because of that checked bag, I couldn't relax in the Centurion lounge because my brain devised all manner of scenarios where my luggage would go missing inexplicably. 

This threw the whole schedule out of whack. Our ride to a certain club never materialized and we walked all over the Strip for overpriced drinks. We underestimated our stamina. There was no way we could stay up all night. We paid to check in early to get what little sleep we could. I only got a couple minutes because I had to go down and place bets on the morning games.  

Then my brother asks me to do a fourth parlay, eating into my bet on the Broncos, and basically robbed me of $10 extra dollars. Then my friend had to miss halftime bets that would gotten me an extra $30. Then, I wasn't able to get in my bet on the Saints at halftime because of the Chiefs, and that's another $10 I would've gotten, or perhaps $20. 

Basically, I went to Vegas and got teased with unrealized gains that amounted to $50. Of course, that's not money I lost. It's just money I didn't win. But the gambler's mentality says that money was meant for me. That's why I'd rather stay at home and not get pissed over not winning $50 when I spent so much more just going there in the first place! By not going, I would've been positive.

Sure, I could bet bigger and get everything back since the bets were good, but it only takes one loss to screw me over, and I'm not willing to lose big for fool's gold. 

If there's any lesson I learned from Vegas, it's that I need to be savvier at home, work harder, and find a new job that will cover any potential windfalls from gambling, because I don't need this uncertainty in my life. 

That said, if I'm going to be gambling, I'll only do parlays from now on. Low risk, big reward, and helluva lot less stressful.

Gonna Fly Now

Gonna Fly Now has been stuck in my head since Creed -- great movie. I love underdog stories and Creed executes the formula beautifully.

I like Creed so much that I went back to rewatch the first Rocky. Two minutes in and I realize that I've never actually seen it before. That's a testament to its enduring popularity. Its so deeply embedded in American culture that I had mistakenly believed that I'd seen it.

That's the thing about watching the trailblazers, its originality has been eroded by decades of imitation. The once innovative elements are well worn these days, but if there's one thing I can't deny, it's that Rocky got heart, man.

And that's what Creed does so well: preserve the core that made the series so memorable.

If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna fly now.

Taking Charge

I can no longer defer to the will of many. I've known this for quite some time but I've refused to acknowledge it. I had trust in my brethren. Unfortunately, recent events have forced me to realize that the perfect society can only be run by a benevolent dictator.

It's no coincidence that the best times of my life are when everything has gone exactly according to plan. Freestyle ain't no style. My powers of improvisation have weakened considerably over the years. I can no longer forge ahead with blind optimism. My adventurous spirit has evaporated, and in its place, is the soul of the prepared.

If the devil's in the details, then call me Lucifer. If you don't get it right the first time, then you do it right the next time. I'll make sure of it.

Spree Shopping

I got a little crazy on Amazon this past weekend. I'm not a super bargain hunter or anything but prices usually depress around this time. If there's any time to buy, it's right now. I don't need the best deal, just one that's good enough. That means I don't do any shopping until now. I blow my load during the holidays and recover over the beginning of next year.

Even though I call it a spree, it's only because I buy nothing else in the previous ten months. I picked up some new 30 pound weights. I don't think I'm going any heaver after 30. It seems like a good stopping point.

I bought myself a lunch bag, a duffel bag, and a messenger bag. I've been using ghetto solutions for my item transport so it's nice to have legit carrying options. I also got myself a pocket shaver to get rid of fuzz.

My shopping isn't done yet. I still have to pick up a couple things for my trip to Japan next year. I can't wait.

Seeing Colors

One week ago, my eyes were totally freaking out. This wasn't a "it's been like that all along you just hadn't noticed" moment. My eyes were straight up messed up. I was seeing a weird mishmash of colors all over the place, especially against solid colors.

My eyesight has reverted back to normal now, but for one week, I couldn't see anything. You know that effect when you go into a dark room after your eyes have been exposed to bright lights? You can see afterimages and discoloration everywhere? Imagine that 24/7. This made looking at a computer screen painful since the white background becomes blinding.

I have no idea what was going on, but I'm glad everything is back to normal now.

Lifestyle Change

I've been telling myself to sleep earlier for the longest time. I can't stop myself from staying awake. My bad habits finally caught up to me, and it has manifested in a very real way: I got fat. Nothing like a protruding gut to get me motivated. 

I'm not used to having a big belly. Relative to the average American, my weight isn't all that bad. But I'm Asian, and standards are a little different for my build. I judge my fitness on one scale, and that's on my ability to fit into pants. I can't fit in half my pants anymore. That's to be expected when I pack on 25 pounds in 10 months.

I probably had no business fitting into my old pants to begin with. At the beginning of the year, I was severely underweight, just barely hovering above 100. That's not healthy by any metric. Since I got my job, I've stopped running. Lack of cardio combined with my lack of sleep has resulted in a pudgy body that I haven't seen since elementary school. 

Fortunately, I don't despair in the mirror. I buckle down and focus up. I'm doing three things to get back into shape:

1. Sleep earlier
2. Change my diet
3. Jog

Trying to do all three has really challenged my time management. With a little dedication and know how, it's amazing how much more I can squeeze out of every minute. As long as I stay on track, I'm in good shape.

Nightmare Inception

I've had some trouble sleeping lately. Sword and Scale must be getting to me. I'm pretty sure I'm not going crazy (that's what they all say), but it feels like I'm experiencing the burgeoning symptoms of schizophrenia.

I start hearing voices when I try to sleep. I chalk it up as a mental lapse. The brain relaxes and everything just flows out. It's indistinct, similar to crowd chatter. The voices get out of control when I close my eyes. I've even jolted awake because it sounds like someone just screamed at me. 

I've been having dreams within dreams. I saw something like the silhouette of a thin frail lady with long hair whipping her head back and forth at the base of my bed. I closed my eyes and the scene disappeared. I was in a dream then, and I was constantly falling in and waking up inside dreams. I don't have nightmares, but this is about the closest I could get to one. 

If I had to deal with this all my life, I would be feeling terrible and depressed. It's always around this time of year. I expose myself to more horror stories, and little by little, it creeps into my imagination and dwells there until I say enough is enough and I watch videos of puppies and kittens to purify my soul of the darkness. It's gotten to the point where I'm afraid of closing my eyes in the shower, man.

This ain't just right.

Something Happens

I found something new to do at work: listen to podcasts. I started off with a relatively recent and popular one called Serial. I've been on a true crime kick ever since. I've continued to feed my morbid curiosity with Sword and Scale and I've probably reached my breaking point for inhumane acts of cruelty, but not before learning a whole lot about investigations and court proceedings.

It's alarming how your entire future can hinge on a story. That's the point of a trial: to pit one version of events against another. While evidence plays a huge role, it means nothing without narrative. It's often the tiniest detail that tips the scales. 

It makes me think about those moments when I disappear, falling out of sight of surveillance. It goes to show that nothing in this world actually "happens" unless it is observed by a witness or camera, and even then, you get conflicting viewpoints.

I drop off the face of the earth for an hour at most each day, and that's an accumulation of disparate blocks that go no longer than 15 minutes. At work, home, and in between, I'm surrounded by family, co-workers, or other drivers. I'm rarely ever by myself. If anyone plans on abducting me, good luck with that tiny sliver. 

With our propensity to splash ourselves over social media, we should never really be out of sight. Take advantage and snap selfies at every opportunity. The last thing you want is to be implicated in a murder with no alibi. If there's anything I've learned, it's to always leave a trail. 

Unless you're the one doing the murdering.

Public Manner

Some weird stuff has been happening when I'm doing my business at work, and I don't mean the kind I get paid for. When I do my business, it's my moment of peace and the last thing I want is to be interrupted or distracted. 

I was minding my stall when everything plunged into darkness. The lights went out. There weren't any windows so it's pitch black in the restrooms. At least I wasn't in a position where aim mattered, but it's unsettling for everything to disappear. I already feel vulnerable enough with my pants down. I don't need to get anymore paranoid. Thankfully, power was restored in less than a minute.

Another incident was even weirder. I was doing my thing when a guy rolls up to the urinal. It's a one toilet one urinal bathroom. I could only see his loafers below the divider. He must've been holding it in for a very long time because the stream did not stop for anything. He was moaning like the urinal was giving him extra service. There's a difference between a relieved sigh and the nonstop excessive gasps of pleasure this dude was letting out.

As if that wasn't enough, he lets a loud one rip in the middle of all this.

When I heard the urinal flush, I thought that would be the end of it, but he kept on going. I can only imagine that his urine was so discolored that it necessitated repeated flushing to keep the surface clean, because he flushed not once, not twice, not even thrice, but five times in a single piss. 

It was like he had never relieved himself before but finally got to do it for the first time in his life, and I had the displeasure of being there to hear it in all its disgusting glory. I can't possibly fathom what'll happen if he was by himself. Whole bathroom would explode probably. 

Or maybe he exaggerated only because I was there.

For anyone using public restrooms, I implore you to mind your manners, please. We already have enough shit to deal with.

Dreamer

My lunchtime naps are becoming increasingly more bizarre. My sleep deprivation is getting to me. I'm not napping anymore, I'm full on dreaming. It's not a deep nap either. The mere act of closing my eyes sends me spiraling into an alternate dimension featuring cameos of people from the past, TV shows, and anime. 

When I snap out of it, I do a double take at the time because it feels like a whole day has gone by in a minute. My imagination has never been so vivid. If I don't do something about this, I'll be dreaming with my eyes wide open. Probably not the safest thing in the world, especially if I'm driving or something.

While I usually dream about my latest obsessions (video games, J-dramas, anime, etc.), my last dream was about work, and since I was napping at work, it was not at all a pleasant experience waking up to the realization that I'm stuck there for another five hours. 

I've always wanted to make my dreams come true, but not like this.

Same as the Old Boss

Parasites are the new nanomachines--or should I say, nanomachines were the new parasites. MGS4 used nanomachines as a crutch to explain everything weird from seemingly immortal super healing to personality transplants. MGSV does the same thing, but using parasites instead. I never expected an explanation for the powers the Cobra Unit possessed, but MGSV went ahead and explained them anyways.

On the surface, parasites being used to infect people who speak certain languages sounds like a stretch, but Kojima has a way of providing a strong enough extrapolation from reality that it at least seems plausible, and the same goes for the concept of metallic archaea. Only from Kojima can you get equal doses of hard hitting military realism, historical minutia, and pseudo science. It creates a package that can't really be found anywhere else.

For all its faults with the narrative, the Metal Gear universe is one that is so uniquely realized that no other series comes close. Nowhere else can you can find such strong anti-war themes wrapped up in the ultimate war game with some of the corniest, most dramatic, and silliest gags out there. I look forward to finishing this game and potentially raging at the ending. Whatever happens at the end doesn't matter, because this journey has been worth it.

The Phantom Pain

I am in love with this game. This is the MGS I've always imagined ever since playing MGS2, which blew me away back in the day. The difference between MGS and MGS2 was staggering, and I believe a similar shift just happened with MGSV.

As great as MGS3 and MGS4 were, they were fundamentally rooted in the template laid out by 2. Hell, you could say the entire series up until this point was anchored by the design principles of Metal Gear 2 on the MSX2.

MGSV completely rewrites the rules. This ain't no evolution, this is revolution. MGSV is the culmination of all the design elements from past entries. Simply put, this is the ultimate Metal Gear game.

If you're not enjoying MGSV, you're doing it wrong. The game is what you make of it. It's all about options, and not even the most optimal ones. Take joy in experimentation. Don't play how you think it should be played, play in every way possible. Think outside the box, or in the box, and with every box, because MGSV is the ultimate sandbox. 

The Phantom Platinum

It's a long and tough road to 100%. I've already sank in a hundred hours and I'm not even halfway done. I've halted progression in the campaign to set myself up for the finish line. I've completed all available side ops and I'm trying to S rank my previous missions and complete all tasks. Even though I'm only on Mission 24, I'm already seeing S rank soldiers in the field and I'm pulling them from completing main story missions. I haven't even broken 200k heroism. 

Right now, I'm in the process of farming materials. I've got a severe shortage of fuel and common metals, even with a FOB. I'm going to farm as many materials as I can and see how far I can S rank missions without hitting a development wall. The only thing stopping me right now are specialist skills that I'll have to pick up during the campaign. 

Once I get the ball rolling, I should cruise pass the 100% mark comfortably. I'm confident it won't take another 100 hours to get there. Once I research the highest levels of equipment, I should be able to break the game at my leisure. The only thing that worries me is capturing animals. Everything else I can brute force. Capturing animals is pretty RNG, and I'm getting terrible flashbacks to Peace Walker where I had to grind AI pods to make the perfect Metal Gear.

The things I do for gaming...

Late Night Drama

I need to get more sleep. Seriously. I shouldn't be starting J-dramas out of the blue on regular weeknights. I didn't get to bed until 5 in the morning, and I usually wake up at 7:40, so I'm running on less than three hours of sleep. That can't be healthy. I know what I have to do once I get home: hit the bed and forget everything. I can't afford to not sleep. I'm might die at this rate.

I've been on a tear lately. I've watched Last Cinderella, Partners by Blood, Tokyo Dogs, and I'm currently on Rich Man, Poor Woman. The reason I started watching was to get familiar with Japan before heading over there next year. It's cool seeing all the landmarks I'll be visiting like the Waco building, Nihonbashi bridge, and Tokyo Tower. One day, I can say to myself, "I was there."

I watch J-dramas for the cool guys and the cute girls. Japan pumps out shows like a well oiled machine. If there's an actor I like, there's a lot to see from them. Actors and actresses are pretty prolific and I see the same faces a lot. Right now, I like Shun Oguri, but the female lead in Rich Man, Poor Woman is gorgeous. Her character is annoying though. She's super passive but that's like 50% of all female characters in J-dramas. 

Ultimately, I watch something if the plot summary sounds interesting enough. It's funny how my taste has changed. I wanted to watch something with a strong female lead so I started with Last Cinderella. Then I felt like watching Tokyo detectives in action, hence Partners by Blood and Tokyo Dogs. I'll have to say that the most interesting aspect of Rich Man, Poor Woman is the business intrigue. It's certainly giving me more ideas for Mister Cinderella--I should probably start working on that soon.

The thing about these dramas is that they make me cry. I'm a sucker for the predictable emotional tugs, but what really gets me are those inspirational moments, not the sad ones. It's scenes like when the main character has all but given up but an ally comes out of nowhere to save the day. Friendship, family, and love--it just makes me think, "I wish I had someone like that."

Newer Is Not Always Better

Windows 10 is garbage. I wasted a whole day trying to undo the damage that the OS did on its own. Who on earth thought it was a good idea to force driver updates without any option to disable them individually? Thanks to this nonsense, my touchpad functionality and audio got screwed up, and no matter how many times I uninstall the drivers, Windows 10 brings it back like it's in style.

I don't need this BS. And since I "Reset," wiping out the Windows 8 installation I had previously, I'm gonna have to go back to factory reset. Worst OS ever. What the hell was Microsoft thinking?

Money

The past two weeks have been tumultuous for the stock market, to say the least. The extent of my involvement with that mess is limited to my Roth IRA. All my money is in an index fund, which means volatility won't affect me in the long run.

However, I dropped decent money to capitalize on the moment. I wasn't able to make the most efficient play, but we'll see how prices look three months from now. I'm already up way more than if I had stashed that cash into savings.

Kinda wish I did this when I had student loan money. I got into college when the economy bottomed out. If I had invested back then, my earnings would probably outpace interest.

If my recent planning frenzy about Japan has taught me anything, it's that enthusiasm can drive us to do great things. If I focused my energy into playing the stock market or finding a new job, I might reap some surprising results. Then again, my aversion to loss is borderline endemic. That's why I never gamble in Vegas.

While my usual effort may be average, I'm finding out that I'm nearly unstoppable when inspired. My current state of inspiration has been inspiring in of itself. I feel like I can do anything.

The important thing is to not get too high. I want to maintain velocity but if I overreach, I may end up crashing instead. You gotta play that delicate balance between ambition and ability. Despite my vigor, there is still much room for improvement.

Knowing Who I Am

I can count the number of times I've gone all out on one hand. Whether it's a project, an event, or whatever, it's one of those rare moments when I'm so interested in something, nothing else matters.

Right now is one of those times. I'm talking about planning my trip to Japan next year. It's hard enough trying to plan one day, so try multiplying that by fourteen. I've probably been working on my itinerary for three weeks straight and I've only now just begun to pin down some actual details.

I'll be flying into Narita in late March just in time for the cherry blossoms. My friend will be joining me shortly later that week, but not before I get three whole days to myself.

The trip is divided into two segments: Tokyo and Osaka. As current progress stands, I'm stuck in Tokyo. Me and my friend will be in Tokyo together for three days. Naturally, I tried to cram as much as I could in that time frame.

I didn't start picking places to visit willy nilly. I used Japan-Guide and Google Maps to chart out the most efficient route throughout the city, allowing us to see as much as possible with the least amount of time wasted in transit.

The only way to know for sure is to run though each item line by line with reasonable time estimates. I pretty much had to gut each day to fit everything in. It was a little painful, but now I have something to do on those three extra days to myself. Unfortunately for my friend, he'll get the condensed experience. I'll be sure to show him the greatest hits.

My itinerary is just for the day. Most of the city's attractions from parks to shrines close by five thirty, which means the night is wide open, and therein lies my conundrum. When you think nightlife, you think clubbing, right? Considering that Tokyo is one of the biggest cities in the world, its night scene has gotta be thriving, but at the same time, clubs have always been my kryptonite.

Clubbing is one of those things that look a lot more fun than it actually is -- speaking only for myself, of course. My body simply does not house the spirit of a dancer. While there are other things to do in a club, my game is practically nonexistent, and I doubt a change of locale would change anything from my meandering night in Vegas.

My modus operandi is talk, which makes me a lounger. That's the kind of vibe I roll with. I've done a lot of research into the matter and you'd think there'd be more information out there. Most of the info I've dug out is sporadic, spread throughout the last five years and probably outdated. That either speaks to the strength of time-tested advice or not enough English-speaking people are partying in Tokyo.

I still have 7 months to figure things out. The important thing is to remember what kind of guy I am. There are certain situations in which I thrive and others in which I dive. The last thing I want is to end up walking the streets of Tokyo in the wee hours of morning with nothing in my pockets.

Planning to Plan

I love to plan things even when what I'm planning is how I'm gonna plan. It's comforting to know what the path ahead looks like despite not taking a step forward. It's a matter of preparation. By knowing how every route looks like beforehand, I know what to do should I ever be thrust into one unexpectedly.

Certainty is the only way to live a stress-free life. Isn't that what enlightenment is--a state in which you can see everything as it is? While we can't see into the future, we can certainly plan for it, and after realizing our premonitions enough times, the uncertainty of tomorrow begins to dissipate. Planning becomes less a prediction and more a fact.

So here's my plan: I'm going to write a post for JomattoPro, publish it, and do more research about my trip in Tokyo next year, which is the reason I'm feeling so motivated in the first place.

At the beginning of the year, all me and my friend had was a vague idea of going to Japan, but now that I'm digging into the research, the itinerary is starting to take shape. It's in a stage where anything is possible. The basic framework for Tokyo is mostly in place--it's just a matter of filling out the details. I haven't been this excited in a long ass time. Planning the trip is half the fun of traveling!

Saturday Walking

Last Saturday, me and my friend were trying to figure out a way to get into San Francisco from Emeryville, which is right across the Bay Bridge. We were supposed to use the "F," a bus whose only purpose is to bring people to SF. Unfortunately, due to construction or whatever, all trains on the BART weren't going in, which meant that everybody took the F, which meant that there was no way for us to get to SF. We passed by five stops, one earlier than the other, and every time we waited, a packed bus would just us by, leading us to coin the phrase, "F the F."

Finding some means of transport led us into the ghettos of Oakland and it was not a nice neighborhood. Eventually, we found our way by getting on a shuttle offered by BART. The amount of walking and running we did that day was nonsense, and exactly one week from that day, I went through my usual walking route. The lingering aftereffects of that trip would've been far worse if I hadn't started preparing myself through these weekly walks.

And it's during these walks that I can enjoy the moment. Exercise and happiness are closely linked, and I'm at most inspired when I'm tired. I thought about the final chapter of Love Sick and I think I finally got it sorted out. Compared to my other stories, it's not as explosive, but what it lacks in surprise, it should make up for in conclusiveness.

Finding Myself

I visited San Francisco over the weekend. It's hard to believe I was hundreds of miles away from home a mere couple days ago. I remember sitting on the couch of my hotel room thinking, "I'm really far away right now."

But California is California. It doesn't feel like I strayed too far from my comfort zone. Despite its uniqueness, San Francisco lies under the same sun I've been living with all my life. Visit any major U.S. city and they're all fundamentally similar.

If I ever visit SF again, it won't be for the city, but for the people. I went hardcore tourist mode, checking out the Golden Gate and Bay bridges, Golden Gate Park, the Japanese Tea Garden, Fisherman's Wharf, Twin Peaks, the financial district, and Chinatown.

You gotta take the bad with the good. The layout of the city is crazy interesting but inconvenient to navigate. Walking the street is the best way to experience the town up close and personal, but you get first hand exposure to bums, noisy construction on every block, and that nasty smell of exhaust and pollution. It doesn't help when I visit on a weekend in the middle of summer during the height of tourist season. I haven't heard this much foreign language since Vegas.

I don't think I can ever live in a metropolitan area. It's just not my style. Everything's too cramped and crowded. I'm all about the suburb. Give me open space, a minimum of two lanes for every street, and plenty of sky.

Constant Denial

The Street Fighter V beta hates me and everyone else. It's hard to recall a bigger disaster in terms of a beta. Just when I think I might get in, boom! Denial message. I suppose these things are tested for a reason. A beta that runs flawlessly isn't a typical beta. It just goes to show that Bungie are masters of network coding. For all its faults, networking is the least of Destiny's issues.

Since SFV was kaput for the entire weekend, I invested a lot more time into BF4. I don't know why but I've been feeling it lately. Just when I think the game is stale, my friend brings up a gun recommendation that changes things up. I've invested 330 hours so far. That's almost enough to pay off my purchase of the PS4. Almost. Only 190 more hours to go (price of PS4+BF4+Premium). I've got more than my money's worth, but it's nice to go for that one dollar per hour value.

Even though I've put a freeze on Tales of Xillia 2 until I complete Love Sick, I made no moves to update the story. Thanks to many late nights, I napped instead of writing during my lunch break. It doesn't help when I have to work harder these last two weeks to hit our goals.

I'd like to go for a 5k word minimum but I've only got 1k so far. Chances are, I won't be updating today. I'll be traveling to San Francisco next weekend so I'm between a rock and a hard place. I may not be able to update on my story's anniversary. Time to put my head down and focus.

Them Late Nights

I need to get off the sauce, and by that, I mean I gotta stop staying up so late to watch other people play games. It makes sense if I'm the one playing, but other people? Oh, how times have changed.

It's amazing just how easy it is to find something entertaining. It's also dangerous. Thanks to all my late nights, progress on Love Sick has been ravaged. I pretty much have to finish it all in one day because with the upcoming Street Fighter V beta, I fear for my productivity.

Speaking of fighting games, Evo was mad hype. Who knew the last couple sets of SFIV would go the distance and come down to the last round every time? Too bad it was tainted by a well-timed Razer malfunction. MadCatz for the win,

I finally discovered Rocket League and it's very addictive. I played like ass in the beginning but have quickly improved in skill. The important thing here is to not get a big head. I'm really good at picking up games but it means I plateau quickly. It's easy to get confident, but if I encounter a wall, things get super frustrating.

The correct frame of mind is to tell myself that I suck. Can't get too full of myself. Put things in perspective and my successes will be that much more enjoyable and my losses a great deal less painful.

Chop. Kick. It's all in the mind.

Compression

7/6

After failing to do anything of note over the weekend (besides having fun), I wrapped up my overdue tasks in one night, and this includes my usual workout routine. See? I can do it if I try. Then again, it was 4th of July weekend, and I still haven't finished the latest chapter of Love Sick.

7/7 - Murphy's Day

 Everything that can happen, will happen. Talk about a wet dog of a morning. I got a red light at virtually every stop in my commute, including a dang train. Throw in some mid-summer drizzle and a leaking coffee machine at work and it seems things are going out of whack.

Rest of the Week

I dropped out of my bi-weekly update schedule to realign with Love Sick's anniversary publish date. Even with the extra week, I'm barely able to get any writing done. I just want this story to end already.

My friend brought up the idea of going to San Francisco at the end of the month but we've hit a couple snags. We really gotta put our heads together and figure out a solution that makes our trip as cheap as possible. I also don't mind if we don't go. Just means more money in my pocket.

7/10

Even though we lost, I saw flashes of the young talent on the Lakers summer league squad. I'm looking forward to the next game!

7/11

I just cleaned up my inbox. The only time I do that is when I have to distract myself, and in this case, I'm procrastinating on the next chapter of Love Sick. I'll get it done eventually.

Monthly Renewal

July could not come soon enough. With each new month my budget resets. It sucks to reach the limit and not be able to do anything. I maxed out my budget early in June, which meant I had to go hermit mode for the last week. It's nice to finally get some breathing room. It's also a chance to test my auto-payments. Hopefully, everything will move smoothly without a hitch.

One of the best things about July is that I get paid 3 times this month, which means my budget is going to see a healthy surplus. The next time I'll get a trifecta is in January, so this is indeed a rare event. The extra money will probably go straight into my travel fund. Work can be boring, but rather than work to survive, I work to have fun. Having a destination in mind makes the days and weeks go by quickly. Thanks to all my churning, I've got plenty of options for travel.

I got a half day on Friday for the fourth of July weekend. I took advantage of a free afternoon by watching Jurassic World. I kind of expected more from a towering box office dinosaur, but it was a fun distraction. The kids were really hyped after the movie. Reminds me of how I used to be back in the day. Just going to the movies was an event in itself.

In preparation for my big trip to Japan, I started walking again. I anticipate lots of foot travel. If a one-day visit to a theme park leaves me wasted, I can't imagine two entire weeks of it. That's why I'm starting early. The results from my first walk were devastating. Plenty of time to improve.

Ever since I got into the fanfiction business, I've been keeping contact with my contemporaries, but this fourth of July was the first time we could actually meet. After a year and a half of correspondence, I have finally met up with one of my writing buddies. Even though we've never met before, we conducted ourselves like old friends. This should bode well for future "visiting with online friend" trips.

Sunday was the 100-day anniversary of my uncle's passing. It was an unexpectedly cool day. We wrapped up our prayers with dim sum at Sea Food World. It was good, I guess. Service, as it goes with these places, leaves a lot to be desired.

Team USA won. We back on top, baby. USA! USA! USA!

Realignment

Once I fall behind, it gets even harder to catch up. E3 was a huge wrecking ball in my plans and nearly pushed my schedule back by an entire week. Not exactly a good look. It boils down to the struggle between routine and disruption.

I've accounted for all my hours in each and every day, which makes it hard for me to take advantage of spontaneous opportunities. Do I disrupt my routine in favor of a special event or do I stick to the schedule? A life of monotony is no life at all, so I usually give in to digression, The problem is that it always leaves me out of sorts the following day.

For instance, I went to the Angels game this Friday, which is the same day I'm supposed to work out. I suppose I could've pushed my routine to Saturday, but I don't trust myself. I ended up working out and not going to sleep until 3 in the morning. The worst part is that I knew I was going to the game a week in advance, so I could've avoided the situation completely.

I'll have to devise some sort of procedure for these moments. I can't be running a marathon and take detours at the same time. Something's gotta give, and that means introducing flexibility to a stiff calendar.

Extended Hangover

I still haven't recovered from last week's adventure up north, and it doesn't help that the hits keep coming. E3 laid me out with one blow after another. And just when I thought the post-E3 euphoria might wear off, the Persona 5 trailer included with Dancing All Night keeps me up all night, and then you got the NBA draft where the future of the Lakers may rest on a single player selection.

Despite all that, I got it done and updated the latest chapter. Funny thing is that the delay didn't really affect the new chapter. I started working on it even before I finished 47. But I'm way behind on schedule with Tales of Xillia 2. I hope to make up for it this weekend.

Road Trip

This has been one of the longest drives of my life. I went on an epic road trip with three of my friends up to Salinas from Orange County. That's over seven hundred miles round trip, and over twelve hours stuck in a Camry.

All credit to the driver, who used his own car and drove both ways. I don't think I have the endurance for that. I'm surprised he didn't want to trade driving duties halfway.

The trip started off less than stellar. I went to work early so I could leave early. I wasn't productive since I only had four hours of sleep. Then the internet at work goes to crap when I'm on the last task. I wasted half an hour waiting for things to load. I was forced to finish at home, cutting into my preparation time.

It didn't matter, because instead of leaving at four like we planned, we departed at five, straight into the meat grinder known as LA traffic.

After an arduous drive, we dropped by a Denny's. Service was slow and we were in the middle of nowhere. There was a family with like fifteen kids all dressed up living on the prairie style. Probably homemade clothes.

When it came to getting drinks, everybody got iced coffee except me. Way to make me look bad, guys. But it turned out great, because I got coffee on the house. Thanks a lot, guys. Too bad the waitress got our orders mixed up and I ended up paying for it anyways. Screw you, waitress.

When we returned to the road, it was dark. After a few wrong turns here and there, along with a disgusting restroom break and a near collision with incoming traffic on a one lane road, we found ourselves on a desolate stretch through the mountains that went for more than fifty miles with nary a soul in sight. The radio was rolling out old tunes and the contrast was tailor made horror movie atmosphere. Remember "Home" from the X-Files anyone?

It was a lonely winding path complete with crackling radio and zero cell service. To make things worse, we learned that our host in Salinas encountered a big problem. His water heater broke down and we wouldn't be able to use the shower, sink, or toilet. What a fantastic trip.

Thankfully, that wasn't the case by the time we arrived, but we ended up having to go without hot water. The cold shower sucked, but at least we had the toilet.

We got there well past midnight and played Texas Hold 'Em until 3. Didn't win a single hand. I went to sleep. We had a big day tomorrow.

Morning came and we were still reeling. I skipped out on the cold morning shower. We went to an Indian curry place called Avatar. Not bad. I like curry.

Afterwards, we made the long trip on Pacific Coast Highway to Big Sur. It was an incredibly scenic route with fantastic coastal views, seaside bluffs, and varied landscapes. We were literally in the clouds. I left the window down for a refreshing cold blast on my face. We crossed the famous Bixby Bridge and traversed a mix of sights that ranged from rolling hills and grassy knolls to dense forests.

Big Sur itself was a big disappointment. It's the mobile games of hiking, super casual and so easy even a kid can do it. And the waterfall I wanted to see so much ended up being a tiny stream at the beach. Great views but a bad hike.

We hit up Cannery Row at Monterey for a look around downtown. It's a lively street with an eclectic assortment of shops. My favorite in particular had a bunch of different Buddha statues. He seems to like taking baths with all the water fountains around. Some of the stuff reminds me of Sagat's stage in Street Fighter.

The highlight of the trip was when we debated whether it was a log or an otter floating off the pier. One of us was sure it was an otter even though it wasn't moving at all, and the rest of us were dead set on it being a log.

We went back and forth until the "log" sprang to life. It was an otter after all. Amazing plot twist. It was chilling like no one's business. That's why it barely budged.

We got home, ate pizza, and watched Cain lose. What followed was a long philosophical debate about enlightenment, truth, and reality, along with personal research into schizophrenia. Two of my friends are psychiatric therapists, so you can see where my due diligence comes from. I got a lot of good ideas for Love Sick because of our discussion.

We chatted a bit next morning and ate leftover pizza for breakfast. It was time to go home. We set off on the long journey southward.

We took a brief detour through wine country. There were dozens of vineyards here, and it was crazy to see fields of crops along the slopes. Aside from a couple oil fields, it's really all farmland along the way home with sparse sightings of cows.

I'm still in the car as I write this on my phone, but by the time I post this, I'll be safe and sound at home. It's been one hell of a weekend, but it was fun! Time to get ready for E3, baby!

Update: Turns out I'll post this after the big conferences. It has been the E3 of dreams. I don't know if I'll even post Love Sick this week.

Maybe.

Keeping Up

Update week is always stressful, especially when I'm writing from behind. I was forced to do something unsavory, and that's sever the chapter in half. I'm getting flashbacks to my past because I did that a lot. It normally wouldn't be a problem but I'm determined to end the story on chapter 50. I don't have a lot of leeway when it comes to pushing things back. We might be headed towards another mega-chapter for the next update. Lucky for you guys but it's more work for me.

I was behind thanks to Battlefield 4. I played way too much, which led me to sleep late, which meant I napped instead of write during my lunch break. I put myself in a bad position. I stopped playing BF4, so I should be back on track.

Now that I'm past 1000, I'm in "no fucks given" territory. I thought I'd clear it easily but with the sluggish pace of reviews, I barely dragged myself over the finish line. My reception is declining with each update. I'm no longer propelled by reader enthusiasm. I'm in "get it done" mode. It's still an impressive achievement to hit 1000 since we're in the dark ages, and it'll stay dark until KH3 comes out. Seems like I'll never hit the heights of my contemporaries.

For that, you guys deserve the worst troll ending possible.

The ZigZag

The linear life ain't for me. It's impossible to do the same thing everyday. But every other day? I can manage that. Giving myself enough time to do everything is the key. Once I establish a pattern of ignoring tasks because it's convenient, that's when I lose. If that's the case, then I have to build that into my schedule to begin with.

I should probably get more sleep too. With back to back to back to back late nights, I haven't been doing my body any favors. It's a new week. Let's reset it.

Battle Report #2

Every time I try something new, I get destroyed. In terms of weaponry, what I'm used to is what I'm going to be rolling with from now on. MG4life. There's no reason to try anything else.

With that said, I think smoke grenades are going to be my permanent replacement for minis. DICE has steadily nerfed the most effective options. Slams hardly do any damage and they reduced the blast radius and number of minis you can carry.

So why smoke and not flashbangs, RGO impact, or anything else? Because of its tactical advantages. I tried using it offensively in the beginning but trying to use smoke to hide myself is not a viable strategy. However, using it to escape from hairy situations is amazing. If I'm being shot at and I have no idea where it's coming from, I find cover and pop smoke. Once it's fully deployed, I can run away at my leisure.

It's particularly useful against vehicles. It always forces them to move and it gives my team the opportunity to run up for C4 or to shoot rockets without worrying about being shot at. I once threw a bunch of smoke and hid mines in it. The enemy AA decided to move forward and blew up.

Smart tank drivers routinely check the road for explosives, but smoke can hide them effectively. I can't count the number of times I get killed for trying to shoot rockets since I'm usually the only one trying to take out tanks (thanks for the back up teammates!), but smoke hides my position well. The most important advantage of smoke is forcing vehicles out of camping spots. I've even used smoke to hide from choppers to varying degrees of success.

With smoke as my secondary, this makes it more prudent than ever to stay stealthy. Even though there's a hundred things that can make me spotted, my most effective games have been with silenced guns. While the MG4 is my primary death dealer, the SKS has quickly shot up to become my main gun for Engineer and Recon. It's all-around versatility at all ranges and relatively long lasting ammo reserves makes it perfect for every situation.

Initially, it was my goal to at least unlock the RDS for every gun, but between lighting it up on the scoreboard and unlocking attachments for guns I'll never use again, I think I'll stick to my mains.

Off Days

Three-day weekends are killer. Because my schedule is so wide open, I freeze up at the possibilities. It's the illusion of free time. I do what I want instead of what I have to do and end up not doing anything.

I've pushed the completion date for Ni no Kuni back by weeks. I hate to say this but the game doesn't grab me the way Xillia did. It's a total grind. The tiered evolution mechanic is regressive and I made some poor party composition choices. My motivation has been thoroughly sapped as a result.

It's probably my fault. I tried to go for an optimized build and that meant restarting from scratch. I've mostly got my party up to speed so it's a matter of flying through the content. I can't grind unless I absolutely have to, and if this means harder boss fights, then so be it.

I've been playing more Battlefield since I started watching OneCheesyMofo on YouTube. Ever since I subscribed, I've been doing a lot better online, even though I still have horrible games from time to time. You can't force a build. You gotta let it develop naturally. While there's room for experimentation and improvisation, tried and true always works.

I recently updated Love Sick and the reception has been middling. To put it in business terms, I'm getting the same return no matter how much more I invest. There's no growth, and while it's not the worst thing to happen, it's far from ideal. The market has changed, and if all I'm doing is catering to a shrinking demographic, the smart choice is to shift gears.

I'm a man of obligation so all my stories will be completed, just not in the way I originally envisioned. Maybe it's better this way. Better to be lean than bloated.

I was forced to watch the latest episode of Game of Thrones since the headlines were hellbent on spoiling me, and while I wasn't outright spoiled, I was able to peace together the spoiler with the few details that managed to penetrate my guard.

Maybe I'm socially tone deaf, but I don't think the last scene is something to be outraged about. I understand it being uncomfortable to watch, but I don't think it was "bad," in both terms of net effect on societal attitudes and its implications on the overarching story. Of course, I can't speak for its exclusionary nature when I'm not the one being excluded.

Much of the criticism revolves around deviation from the books and gut feelings. I don't begrudge anyone for dropping Game of Thrones because of that scene, it's just short-sighted since you do so without seeing the full ramifications. Then again, I'm the kind of cat that always finishes what he starts, and it'll take a helluva lot more than that to make me stop watching.

If there's anything to be outraged about, it's the poor implementation and execution of the Sand Snakes. Simply dreadful.

Doing It All Over Again

I finally got past Hamelin in Ni no Kuni. I hit a wall since I wanted to rebuild my entire party from scratch, and this meant leveling the same familiars to level 30 twice. The familiar system is a built-in grind, I swear.

My throat's scratchy and I might be getting sick. I gotta take it easy.

I saw Mad Max and while I'm not as high on it as other people, it's relentless and enjoyable. I was exhausted halfway through the movie.

I've been focused on planning my trip to Tokyo. I got so into it that my other tasks fell to the wayside. It's about time I got serious about planning. There's almost too much to dig into, but someone's gotta do it.

Battle Report #1

If it doesn't work the first time then try it again.

But differently.

A couple weeks ago, I thought I'd try out the MG4 in combination with a suppressor and bipod. The idea was to rain fire from afar without giving away my position. It didn't work out well. The suppressor drastically cuts down on range and as soon as I hit anybody, they have plenty of time to run away. It took me two games to go back to my usual setup.

Yesterday, I tried it again since I felt like doing mortar shenanigans. I went 14-1 and then 10-0 on Golmud Railway and Operation Locker. I think I've uncovered the magic sauce in the burger. When I attach a bipod to my LMG, my first thought is "long distance." Taking out snipers with the bipod is a common strategy, but with a suppressor, I had to change tactics. Like with any suppressed gun, it's about being stealthy, staying prone, and picking my spots.

Once I embraced the stealth philosophy, I became the silent guardian. I would slowly and methodically take out groups of enemies and they'd have no idea where they're getting hit from. When you have 200 rounds of invisible bullets smacking you in the face, you don't have the time to look around and spot. You either hide, or you die.

I tested it out some more with middling results. As with any combination, it's very dependent on your positioning. If you can find a good spot, it's damn amazing. I think I'll stick with this configuration for a while and see where it takes me.