Some time ago, I decided to outline the requirements for my Ideal Girl. As fun as it was to read my rambling and arbitrary set of prerequisites, a small part of me knew better. What else can I expect of myself when my favorite song of all time is You Can't Always Get What You Want? We know what we want, but we don't know what we need. The distinction is important because wants have the tendency to let us down, but needs will always satisfy.
I present: My Ideal Girl, Revised
1. Dating demands that we engage in rituals that we would otherwise never engage in if it weren't for the prospect of acquiring a significant other. In order words: it makes us do stupid out-of-character shit. My first requirement is simple then: she must let me be myself.
If I have to pretend to be somebody else to keep her--then what the hell is the point of being with her? I'm not a caterpillar waiting for a girl to get me into a cocoon so I can emerge a glorious butterfly. I'm already badass. And if she can't recognize that, then I'll gladly sic her on some other insecure bastard who needs a puppeteer in his life.
2. Since dating is a two-way street, it only makes sense that the opposite is also true. I want my girl to be herself. I don't want her catering to my every whim and fancy (okay, maybe I do...just a little bit) just because she wants to be with me. I want to know my girl in all of her complexities and imperfections, no matter how scary it can be. If she tries to hide who she really is, it's only a matter of time before things would break apart anyways.
If a couple is true to themselves, they're true to each other.
3. Most of us don't have the ability to change ourselves through sheer force of willpower. The most natural way that we grow and evolve is through relationships. In a relationship, change is inevitable. No matter how firmly fixed our personalities are, we have to submit to change if we want to grow. My last requirement is simple: my girl has to make me a better person. It's unfortunate when relationships ends on bad terms leaving nothing but hatred and resentment in its wake. Even if my girl were to leave me, she would leave me a better person, wiser, more experienced, and filled with hope for the future.
Given the choice between my ideal girl and the girl I need, I think the answer is obvious.
Give me what I need!
