Kill your heroes. It seems like every day there’s a new accusation of sexual misconduct in the news. And it’s always the rich and powerful because they’re the ones that get away with it. We admire their talents, skills, and charisma but when they get exposed we become disappointed, shocked, and angry because if these people fail, what hope is there for any of us who don’t have the fame and fortune to shield us from a public mauling? That’s why you shouldn’t look up to celebrities – or people for that matter.
The sooner we can disengage from celebrity worship the less assholes can get away with being assholes. If you have anybody that you like, kill them in your heart so that the moment they betray you and everyone else you won’t feel the need to make excuses. And why should you? They have nothing to do with you!
The important thing is to disabuse ourselves of the notion that this kind of thing only happens outside of our circle because it happens everywhere in all walks of life precisely because it’s learned behavior from a culture that has always treated women unfairly. There is a very high likelihood that someone you know has been a victim and that another person you know has been the perpetrator either knowingly or unknowingly.
Some men wrongly interpret this rising tide of awareness as being put in the crosshairs. It tells you something about a man when he empathizes more with being falsely accused than with being victimized. The importance of awareness is to deprogram the long held beliefs of what is acceptable when it comes to basic interaction with the opposite (or same) sex.
Even in a country like Iceland where they just recently passed a law that woman can’t be paid lower than men and has been recognized as one of the most progressive countries when it comes to gender equality is plagued with stories from women who have experienced sexual harassment in fields such as politics and entertainment.
Be the person that you look up to and don’t trust anyone else. When I read these stories and accounts of the victims, I’m getting an extremely clear outline of what not to do in the situation. Vibe be fucking damned, just ask for clear and concise consent.
And in the workplace, refrain from acting a fool with flirty remarks, unwanted advances, or even something as innocuous as a joke. Some people may lament this shackle on their “freedom of speech” but think about all the men and women who felt uncomfortable with this shit and never expressed it because of the oppressive societal pressure that told them that they were being a killjoy?
So politely shut the fuck up and don’t be offended when someone tells you otherwise.
