Off Days

Three-day weekends are killer. Because my schedule is so wide open, I freeze up at the possibilities. It's the illusion of free time. I do what I want instead of what I have to do and end up not doing anything.

I've pushed the completion date for Ni no Kuni back by weeks. I hate to say this but the game doesn't grab me the way Xillia did. It's a total grind. The tiered evolution mechanic is regressive and I made some poor party composition choices. My motivation has been thoroughly sapped as a result.

It's probably my fault. I tried to go for an optimized build and that meant restarting from scratch. I've mostly got my party up to speed so it's a matter of flying through the content. I can't grind unless I absolutely have to, and if this means harder boss fights, then so be it.

I've been playing more Battlefield since I started watching OneCheesyMofo on YouTube. Ever since I subscribed, I've been doing a lot better online, even though I still have horrible games from time to time. You can't force a build. You gotta let it develop naturally. While there's room for experimentation and improvisation, tried and true always works.

I recently updated Love Sick and the reception has been middling. To put it in business terms, I'm getting the same return no matter how much more I invest. There's no growth, and while it's not the worst thing to happen, it's far from ideal. The market has changed, and if all I'm doing is catering to a shrinking demographic, the smart choice is to shift gears.

I'm a man of obligation so all my stories will be completed, just not in the way I originally envisioned. Maybe it's better this way. Better to be lean than bloated.

I was forced to watch the latest episode of Game of Thrones since the headlines were hellbent on spoiling me, and while I wasn't outright spoiled, I was able to peace together the spoiler with the few details that managed to penetrate my guard.

Maybe I'm socially tone deaf, but I don't think the last scene is something to be outraged about. I understand it being uncomfortable to watch, but I don't think it was "bad," in both terms of net effect on societal attitudes and its implications on the overarching story. Of course, I can't speak for its exclusionary nature when I'm not the one being excluded.

Much of the criticism revolves around deviation from the books and gut feelings. I don't begrudge anyone for dropping Game of Thrones because of that scene, it's just short-sighted since you do so without seeing the full ramifications. Then again, I'm the kind of cat that always finishes what he starts, and it'll take a helluva lot more than that to make me stop watching.

If there's anything to be outraged about, it's the poor implementation and execution of the Sand Snakes. Simply dreadful.

Doing It All Over Again

I finally got past Hamelin in Ni no Kuni. I hit a wall since I wanted to rebuild my entire party from scratch, and this meant leveling the same familiars to level 30 twice. The familiar system is a built-in grind, I swear.

My throat's scratchy and I might be getting sick. I gotta take it easy.

I saw Mad Max and while I'm not as high on it as other people, it's relentless and enjoyable. I was exhausted halfway through the movie.

I've been focused on planning my trip to Tokyo. I got so into it that my other tasks fell to the wayside. It's about time I got serious about planning. There's almost too much to dig into, but someone's gotta do it.

Battle Report #1

If it doesn't work the first time then try it again.

But differently.

A couple weeks ago, I thought I'd try out the MG4 in combination with a suppressor and bipod. The idea was to rain fire from afar without giving away my position. It didn't work out well. The suppressor drastically cuts down on range and as soon as I hit anybody, they have plenty of time to run away. It took me two games to go back to my usual setup.

Yesterday, I tried it again since I felt like doing mortar shenanigans. I went 14-1 and then 10-0 on Golmud Railway and Operation Locker. I think I've uncovered the magic sauce in the burger. When I attach a bipod to my LMG, my first thought is "long distance." Taking out snipers with the bipod is a common strategy, but with a suppressor, I had to change tactics. Like with any suppressed gun, it's about being stealthy, staying prone, and picking my spots.

Once I embraced the stealth philosophy, I became the silent guardian. I would slowly and methodically take out groups of enemies and they'd have no idea where they're getting hit from. When you have 200 rounds of invisible bullets smacking you in the face, you don't have the time to look around and spot. You either hide, or you die.

I tested it out some more with middling results. As with any combination, it's very dependent on your positioning. If you can find a good spot, it's damn amazing. I think I'll stick with this configuration for a while and see where it takes me.

Ebb and Flow

My interest comes and goes with the tides, and after watching Age of Ultron, I needed to satisfy my Marvel kick. A big omission from my MCU resume were the Thor movies. I corrected that promptly. They weren't as bad as I thought, but they still occupy the middling tier if we're ranking them.

After finishing the movies, I wanted to sink my teeth into something meatier. Lo and behold, there's Daredevil to keep me busy for thirteen episodes. Thanks to Daredevil, my plan to beat Ni no Kuni went out the window. I haven't touched the game since Sunday. I lost about ten or even twenty hours of playtime, and I probably set back my backlog by a week.

Daredevil started off really strong but went sideways with a lame scene where a guy who shouldn't have died got taken out like a schmuck, and that other character kept making the situation worse with her persistence. Still, I'm intrigued to see what the next season brings.

This whole week has told me one thing: I am who I am. I'm liable to be swept up by my latest obsession and that's why I didn't schedule my entire year in advance. Another reason I was losing time for Ni no Kuni was because of BF4. Fortunately or unfortunately, that will no longer be the case.

I learned today that my battlefield partner has rejoined his brethren in Diablo 3. The Battlefield era has come to close. Since I've finished Daredevil and with my friend no longer interested in BF4, that leaves me with no excuse. I have to beat Ni no Kuni now.

I skipped out on my family's Mother's Day dinner because all those late nights of watching Daredevil over the week caught up to me. I just didn't feel like going out. I feel kinda bad but I gotta do what's best for me. I get to save money too. On the upside, this clears out my Sunday since I've taken care of my writing duties.

It always feels good to get things out of the way before they're due.

Deep Dreaming

I used to deep dream every night, but ever since I got a job, Morpheus rarely pays me a visit. It's a shame, because I've missed his company. 

These days, it happens about once or twice a week. I don't get as much sleep as I used to, and it's a lot shallower. There's the kind of sleep where I know I'm lying in bed, and then there's the kind where I'm anywhere but here.

Deep dreaming is one of the few times where I experience the genuine sensation of being someone else entirely in a completely different place. I wonder if my dreams are truly products of imagination or perhaps glimpses of a parallel world. If it's the latter, I feel sorry for those versions of me that die.

It's funny to think that for some people, dreams are their escape from a shitty reality, but for me, it's quite the opposite. If I had a nickel for every time I've woken up from a car accident, failing a test, or an otherwise indescribably unfortunate situation, I would be a millionaire. 

I welcome reality every morning. It's good to be alive.

Ghibli Goodness

Ni no Kuni is a deceptively challenging game. I wasn't expecting this much resistance from a game that hands out tutorials like candy on Halloween. The game constantly explains the most basic concepts of a JRPG from healing to saving, yet, the regular battles are kicking my ass.

I was thinking that the best time to rush through a JRPG is in the beginning since catching up is easier later on when the enemies give out more exp, but I've been forced to grind. I'd almost forgotten this is a Level-5 game. It's difficult when I can't even run past most enemies. They catch up in a matter of moments, so it's either fight them head on or let them ambush me.

As much as failure frustrates me, it's the only way I can learn and master the game's mechanics. Ever since I died mere steps away from a save point which would've restored all my health and magic, I've become much more aggressive when it comes to switching between familiars and taking advantage of my abilities. In a way, I had a breakthrough and I'm now exploring the limits of the battle system.

Something similar happened in Tales of Xillia in the battle against Muzét. All of sudden, I'm forced to learn how to manually position myself against enemies when I just semi-auto'ed my way to victory before. That's still the hardest boss fight in the whole game for me because I leave all the healing and item management to the AI. 

While it's in my best interest to dial down the difficulty if I want to clear my backlog as fast as possible, my gamer pride won't let me. It looks like I'm going to need more than two weeks and a half to complete the game at this rate. I blame the NBA playoffs for my slow pace.

Aside from the challenge, Ni no Kuni is a better Kingdom Hearts than Kingdom Hearts since it deals with parallel words and matters of the "heart" without the convoluted nonsense that plagues KH. It's been a while since I played as a kid. It's a nice contrast to all the killing and cussing I do in BF4. 

If the game didn't force me to grind so much, I'd like it a lot more. Hopefully, the curve evens out a bit because I've already died more in normal battles than I have in the entirety of Tales of Xillia, and in Tales, I only died because of a BS full party petrify.  

I'm enjoying it so far and it's definitely testing me. I just hope the game doesn't throw a huge wall at me later on.

Remapping

Lately, my tinnitus has been driving me nuts. I've decided that enough was enough and began the long process of tinnitus retraining therapy. I'm not using any official program or outline. This is self-training through intuition.

The goal is to reshape my perception until the constant ringing becomes something I ignore on instinct. I achieve this by focusing on every other sound except the tinnitus. It's one of those things where the more you think about it, the worst it gets.

It is incredibly difficult to change my thinking, and I have a bad habit of making sure that my tinnitus is still there. I can go for short stretches without noticing, but then I think about it just as soon as I forget. My obsession keeps it there and makes it worse. The more you tell yourself not to think about it, the more you think about it.

There's two parts to my therapy: I have to control my emotional reaction to the condition, and I have to train my brain to focus on other sounds. Early results seem encouraging, if a little inconsistent. I've only done this for one day so far. The key component is to cut down on the time spent worrying about it.

Let's see if this makes life any easier.