Tail-End

There's two types of self-aggrandizement: necessary self-aggrandizement, and insecure self-aggrandizement. The former is simply marketing. Sometimes the only way to stand out in a sea of "me-too's" is to embellish. Everybody does it. The only way to compete is to do it better than everybody else.

But the latter case is simply because of insecurity.

This insecurity manifests itself in different ways, and one of those ways is in an e-mail signature. What is an e-mail signature? It's just text appended to the end of every e-mail you send out. Most people just sign their names and position, but some take the e-mail signature to the extreme.

Is it really necessary to put in a signature that's more than 5 lines?

These are some real-world examples:

(Name)
University of California, Irvine

Political Science, School of Social Science

Urban Studies and Social Ecology, School of Social Ecology

Chief of Staff, Office of the President, ASUCI

Bus Driver, Anteater Express, ASUCI

Student Assistant, CDRF Core/Anderson Lab (iMind)

Mobile: (xxx) xxx-xxxx Email: xxx@uci.edu

-----

(Name)

University of California, Irvine

Political Science, School of Social Science

Literary Journalism, School of Humanities

Public Relations Commissioner, Office of the President, ASUCI

Staff Writer, New University

Mobile: (xxx) xxx-xxxx Email: xxx@uci.edu

-----

(Name)
University of California, Irvine
Literary Journalism, School of Humanities
xxx@uci.edu

New University Staff Writer
3100 Gateway Commons
Media and Communications Director,
Office of the Student Regent
Humanities Gateway 1305
The Vine Assistant Editor,
Office of the President, ASUCI
G244 Student Center

-----

I'm not impressed at all.

Jomatto
Master of Propaganda
Blood Type O
Old Enough to Drink
Asian

Pretty Good Gamer
Not Bad at Writing
In the Greatest Place in the Universe

Better Than You

Protagonist

You are the main character of your own story. Who could be more important than yourself? Sure, there are people important to you, but they're only important because you know them. They're the supporting cast, but you're the lead. When it comes to writing stories, you have to mind your audience--even if you're the only one.

That's why I act as if someone is always watching me. Simple tasks such as taking a seat or opening a door must be done with grace and poise. There is a meta-camera following me, recording my every move and it would be quite ill if I were to present to this camera my uncouth side--though, with repeated practice, I have practically banished all uncouthness from my demeanor.

It doesn't matter what I'm doing, because I always put on my best face.

Bleed Reading

Although I can only speak from personal experience, I'm sure my case is the prototypical case for all classes. When a professor assigns reading, they don't actually assign reading. Sure they give you a number of pages, and if they're feeling generous, they'll actually specify which sections to read, but for the most part, we just get page numbers. A textbook isn't just filled with text, it comes with a bunch of other material from side bars, mini boxes, photos, statistics, graphs, captions, and sample cases. Although it's never explicitly stated that you have to read those, it's implied.

I call that extra reading, "bleed reading." Bleed simply refers to the edges of the page in the printing business. You have to make sure you have a large margin or else the printing machines will cut off parts of your layout. All these tacked-on extras thrive on the margins, away from the meat of the textbook. That's the reason I call it bleed reading.

Common sense dictates that you read it because you know you're going to have to read it anyways. Besides, you never know, you'll probably learn more from bleed reading than from regular reading.

Homefront

Since I'm not feeling productive today, I'm going to keep this review short. Don't worry, this game doesn't warrant a comprehensive or exhaustive review to begin with. In a genre as tired as the first-person shooter, what separates Homefront is the premise, where the United States gets invaded by North Korea. You play as a resistance fighter who tries to change the status quo by accomplishing military-related objectives (destroying critical facilities and blah blah blah). Despite the novel set-up, the gameplay is virtually identical to Call of Duty, but without the flash and spectacle that makes such rote gameplay palatable.

Shoot, get behind cover, throw the occasional grenade, run around with a shotgun, or snipe, blow up explosive barrels, control a turret, ride in a vehicle, and paint a target or two. This one sentence basically covers the whole game. The story is filled with generic characters from a hyperly-aggressive "I-don't-give-a-shit" grunt (eerily similar to Rico from Killzone) to a more compassionate female companion. Your character remains mute and soulless.

I haven't tried the multiplayer so I can't really comment on it.

The single campaign takes only a day to beat, so unless you're really committed to the online component, this is a rental at best. If you still want to shoot Koreans, I recommend Crysis instead.

Artificial Awakening

I can't remember the last time that I've woken up due to natural causes. Every time my eyes open, it's because of some stupid infernal beeping device whether it's a phone or alarm clock. It's a symptom of the fact that I've never had a room to myself. I'm always waking up because of my brother's nonsense--incessant alarms, annoying texts, and persistent ringtones. Can't a man escape from the world for one paltry second?


I already graduated from school, I don't need to be waking up so early.

God of War: Ghost of Sparta

Following after the heels of God of War 3 comes Ghost of Sparta, a bridge between GoW 1 and GoW 2. The story runs on a thread that was left dangling from the first God of War game, a concept involving Kratos' brother that was seemingly abandoned in further sequels--until now.

After taking the throne as the new god of war, Kratos is haunted by visions of his long lost brother Deimos. As it turns out, Deimos still lives but is trapped in the realm of the dead. Kratos must go and rescue him and kill a god or two along the way. The narrative carries a mythical simplicity where the protagonist must face his inner demons, as well as vicious Greek monsters.

What else can one say about the GoW gameplay template? There's combat, there's platforming, some puzzle-solving, and epic clashes between giant bosses. Ghost of Sparta delivers everything you expect from a GoW game with some wrinkles thrown in for good measure, the biggest of which is the spear and shield (popularized by the 300). It's one of the more satisfying alternate weapons to use in the series' history even if it is a little limited compared to the classic chain blades.

If I'm going to be honest, Ghost of Sparta is a better overall game than God of War 3. Don't get me wrong, the sense of scale from GoW 3 is unmatched, but Ghost of Sparta's design is more balanced and evenly paced. Everything flows together much more naturally. Kratos will traverse many locales from the legendary underwater city of Atlantis (and you will see exactly how it got submerged in the first place) to the realm of the dead. The level progression is seamless and organic in how it unfolds. The puzzles utilize Kratos' new abilities in clever ways. You can throw projectiles with the spears and by holding down the shoulder button, you can give your chains a little extra firepower (necessary to break certain objects).

The enemy encounters have a good mix of enemy types that force you to use all of Kratos' abilities. The game can be challenging, especially on the higher difficulty levels. The game lasts for about 8 hours at most, with skilled players beating the game well under that mark. Aside from some extra challenges, replay value is limited.

If God of War 3 left you hungering for some more Greek violence, Ghost of Sparta is worth a look, especially since it's going be re-released for the PS3 in HD alongside Chains of Olympus. This is one excellent game not to be missed.

Enslaved: Odyssey to the West

Enslaved is the latest game from Ninja Theory, the same developers as Heavenly Sword--which explains the uncanny resemblance between Trip (Enslaved) and Nariko (Heavenly Sword).

Talk about rehashing your own designs. It doesn't help when Heavenly Sword was accused of being a God of War clone, and that Enslaved is based off of the ancient Chinese story of Journey to the West. It's almost as if Ninja Theory doesn't have a single creative bone in their body. Even worse, they're currently developing the new Devil May Cry reboot which has caught a lot of criticism for its questionable aesthetics, the most glaring of which is Dante's redesign.

Fans of Devil May Cry are understandably upset since Dante went from stylish badass to coke-addicted hipster.

It makes me wonder if we'll see another variant of Nariko/Trip in DMC, but I digress. We are here to talk about Enslaved, a third-person action/adventure game where you get to play as Monkey (voiced by Andy Serkis).

As Monkey, you wake up in a cell on a giant flying airship. Trip, a girl who manages to escape, ends up sabotaging the airship and you have to get out before crashing to your death. After flying off on an escape pod, you wake up only to have Trip put a mind control device on your head. This is where the title comes in, "Enslaved." You have to help Trip get back to her hometown or else you'll suffer horrible pain. She promises she'll take the device off once you take her back, but as most adventures with misfits go, the two grow close over the course of their journey.

The game breaks down into two parts: combat and platforming. The developers try their best to blend the two into a coherent whole, and for the most part, they succeed. Each side is a little rough however.

Combat suffers from an unsteady framerate the dips below 30fps on occasion, which doesn't make for the most fluid combat experience. The fighting engine is simple enough, giving the player a slew of options that most can expect from the genre, a combination of dodge rolls, blocks, parries, light, and heavy attacks. Monkey wields a staff that also doubles as a projectile weapon. Each move is upgradeable using orbs that are collected from enemies and the levels. These enhancements to your combat arsenal make it so that you can keep up with the tougher enemies later on.

While not terribly complex, the combat holds an elegant simplicity. Certain attacks can be blocked while others have to be avoided. The game manages to throw a good mix of enemy types at you, forcing you to stay on your toes.

Platforming mixes in elements of Ico where you have to solve environmental puzzles and makes pathways for Trip to follow you. You can also put Trip on your back as you jump and climb around. Trip's technological hacking skills help you navigate through the levels and advance. Platforming apes its mechanics from Uncharted, driven mostly by automatic animation with the press of the "action" button. Context-sensitive commands allow Monkey to lift up heavy objects and interact with the world.

Despite running on the Unreal 3.0 engine, Enslaved is one of the most colorful games in recent memory, painting a rather lush post-apocalyptic world. Broken buildings are covered with vines, vegetation, and greenery. Moss and nature infest the destroyed landscape. As you make your way west, you'll run through the ruins of New York City, jump through Trip's hometown, sail across deserted wastelands, and escape from giant airships. The only caveat, as with most UE3 games, is the lack of anti-aliasing and uneven framerate. The music and voice-acting does its job.

The game will last about 10 hours and replay value is limited with no multiplayer component.

While it isn't the greatest, it's still a journey worth taking if you like action/adventure games. If you feel like bashing robots to death, helping a girl get back home, and solving the mystery behind a post-apocalyptic world, give Enslaved a shot.