Discovery

I would like to preface this post with the declaration that L&L's Hawaiian Barbeque sucks. It was probably because of a bad menu order, but first impressions stick. Screw informed opinions, a first bad experience is one too many. It will be the last time I ever go there for lunch.

For my first real day on the job, I got the chance to explore my charge's home. Houses can tell you a lot about the person who lives there. This was how I figured out that my charge, Noah, is an Axis child -- German father and Japanese mother. No wonder he looked slightly Asian.

Speaking of Asian, I visited a game shop in the area aptly named "Game Shop." The place was a total dive, a real rinky-dink operation if I've ever seen one. Such places could often be a treasure trove for used games, and lo and behold, I found a copy of Onimusha 2. I brought it to the front, but the Thai storekeeper was unable to find the disc. As he turned around to looked through a box of CDs, I was victim to the view of his asscrack.

Seriously, pull your damn pants up.

It wasn't too great of a day, I could've done without the bad food, missing games, and unwanted imagery.

Office Politics

This is purely an issue of politics -- office politics.

This kind of nonsense wasn't part of the job description. Now I find myself asked to navigate some fairly treacherous terrain, land laden with hidden mines where things may just blow up at any moment. I am, and will always be, an impartial observer. My inclination is always to see things from both sides, but for this case, I lean towards minority opinion. The ability of the minority to invite such an overwhelming majority to the contrary displays a skewed ratio of cause and effect. From one small ripple, a tsunami arises, and in that giant wave of water, all sense is washed away.

It is Week 4, and problems seem to spring forth from every crack in this organization. At our Tuesday meeting, after a jolly ol' round of office updates, the president revealed a troubling organizational issue. It has come up before, in a previous meeting, the issue of Club Outreach and Communication. This issue almost reduced the president to tears. The problem is either personal or logistical in nature, but when you're frustrated, it might be hard to tell the two apart. Because I know that I don't have all sides of this story, I'm not backing any horse just yet. I don't like to speculate on the particulars of things I know not about, so I will never declare anything I say as the absolute truth. I can only talk about the things that I have seen and heard for myself. Unlike most people, who spend inordinate amounts of time yapping, I never say anything. The problem with talking is that you don't listen while you flap your lips. The only thing you hear is the sound of your own voice.

So what is the problem here? I'm still not sure that I completely understand, but I'm picking up pieces here and there. Apparently, there's some interoffice feuding. The President's Office and Student Services aren't properly communicating with each other. The veracity of this statement is up for debate, and perhaps owing to my unfamiliarity with most of the people in the office (this is my first year), I can't sense it. I've heard stories to the contrary, but I wonder whether or not such stories are being painted with prejudice. There are many explanations for a rude or curt response from a comrade, and it does no one any favors to assume why without putting in the effort to actually find out why.

The fundamental attribution error describes the phenomenon in which we ignore any possible external factors and simply blame the person's behavior as a part of their personality. After being brushed off by someone, we could either assume "he's a jerk," or "he must be having a bad day." We can never know for sure unless we ask.

Any evidence that supports interoffice feuding is entirely secondhand to me. I heard of the case in which one commissioner went to Ben with an idea that was curtly rejected. It could be erroneous to attribute that curtness to the conflict of Club Outreach and Communication. It could simply be a case of personality, rather than any lingering side effect of Student Services vs. Office of the President. I can't comment on curtness, possible rudeness, back talk, or bristling in the presence of the "enemy." Another piece of this interoffice feuding was a story relayed by the president herself, to all the commissions, that "half of Student Services hates me." I haven't heard any such talk (then again, I don't hang out with the Student Services interns) around the office. I'm not saying it didn't happen, I'm just saying I haven't experienced it for myself. Joy and Mareesha also told me that they had experienced some frigidity at Starbucks, where they greeted some Student Services people but were then promptly ignored. Borna, who said he was friends with all the Student Services people, also sees tension.

Even with all these people claiming that there was tension, all of them came from the President's Office. I haven't spoken with anyone from Student Services, but my biggest question is, did they feel the tension too? Does tension exist if only one side feels it? Perhaps I'm being too short-sighted here. Perhaps my peers were able to understand that any seed of tension will quickly grow and escalate into full-blown war, and that they had to take dramatic measures to stem such an event from happening. That would explain why a curt demeanor could suddenly transform into outright hatred, but a leap of logic is required to reach that conclusion.

From the office of the President's side, it sounds like conflict over Club Outreach translated into organizational discord, a sort poisoning of the well. Frustrated and angry, the executives said nasty things about the other office to their subordinates. These nasty things create fictional ulterior motives. Now the Office of the President wants an athletics commission, they want to take over Student Service's job of Club Outreach, and now rumors have spread, and these rumors have changed the interaction between the two offices. I wonder now, who is truly victimized?

If the Student Services people altered their behavior towards members of the President's office because of rumors, then certainly the onus would be on them. Alternatively, the president's story to the commission convinced all of us that Student Services is talking behind our backs, and this news altered our behavior. The question is, who is ignoring who?

This is just my hypothesis, but if I spoke with any of the Student Services people, I predict I will receive stories similar to the those I heard from my co-commissioners. In another scenario, they might not have noticed any tension at all, and it was all imagined on our end.

This is a real-life case of Rashomon, a story fraught with multiple perspectives and contradictions. Is there an objective truth in this web of deception?

Too bad I'll never find out.

Prey

The announcement of Prey 2 spurred me on to beat the original, an intriguing sci-fi shooter with portals before Portal made portals cool.

You play as Tommy, a Native-American who gets sucked up in a giant spaceship called the Sphere. The entire adventure revolves around his quest to save his girlfriend while navigating the Sphere's treacherous interior, filled with portals and gravity-defying catwalks. In the process, Tommy unlocks his heritage and gains access to his spirit form, which is necessary to solve basic navigation puzzles.

The game looks great with a dark, twisted, and fleshy interior. The lighting is moody and the monster design nightmarish. Unfortunately, the game ascribes to the template of corridor shooter, where the best tactic is classical strafe and fire. Enemy AI and level design aren't sophisticated enough to support the flanking style of gameplay Halo is known for. It boils down to point and shoot.

On the bright side, the game's armory is unique enough to make the task of shooting aliens fun. Pistols with secondary sniper function, bug bombs, and leech blasters are just some of the fantastic alien weaponry you'll get to wield.

The real star of Prey is the level design. The use of portals, perspective shifts, and reverse gravity makes the game unpredictable. Combined with the spirit form gameplay, simply walking through the ship is like solving one giant puzzle.

Prey's journey is fairly lengthy, easily running over ten hours, but the narrative is gripping enough to urge you on when times are tough. The game is a throwback to classic fps with a modern twist; a true bridge between old and new school.

Feel So Free

I'm a man of simple taste.

My needs are few and my wants even fewer. I am easily satisfied; so when I am asked about my long-term goals, it only follows that I give a simple answer:

Financial freedom.

What do I mean by this? I want the ability to do as I damn well please with my money without worrying about survival, without stress over loans, mortgages, or credit bills. All I want is gravy, no debt and pure profit.

It's nice to want things, but its a different story when it comes to actually achieving them.

How does one start a quest for financial freedom?

As with any quest, the first step is preparation. You have to stock up on inventory, armor up, and train before setting foot in the real world. The most important tool in this quest is money. It boggles my mind why people would take their most important tool and hide it, allowing it to languish in low-yield savings, or even worse -- doing nothing in a checking account. An offense even greater than inefficient utilization is the abuse of credit. You're taking your money and hammering it against objects you can't afford until your most important tool whittles away into nothingness.

Too much of our money's potential is squandered between debt and apathy. Granted, one cannot avoid operational costs since we need a place to live, food to eat, clothes to wear, and transportation to get us places, but one has to differentiate between needs and wants. The ability to do so will build up personal capital.

In the guide of sound financial advice, you will hear two things: cut back and save. It's a simple strategy that eludes too many of us, but it provides a steady path towards our goal of financial freedom.

I was never one for the tortoise.

I prefer to leap over obstacles to land in great positions without years of sweat and toil. It's a risky method of living, but the rewards are too great to ignore. If I'm going to go into debt, it will not be because of foolish purchasing habits, but because of risky investment behavior.

I have observed that nobody in my family has really dealt with investment opportunities either in the form of bonds or stocks. Maybe a CD here or there, but nothing that screams "Wall Street!" My brother-in-law is enamored with the prospect of real estate and believes that land is the key to wealth. I won't argue about the worth of homes and the gains from renting property, but I feel that land is still too much of a slow burner. Land requires development, development requires a lot of start-up and operational costs, and it could be decades before profit is realized.

An intellectual such as myself prefers to deal with the realm of ideas. Intellectual assets, not physical, are the real money makers this generation. Social networking, mobile devices, inter-connectivity, advances in communication technology is where the real action is at. Nothing will replace standard industry such as automobiles or basic home-keeping products, but their steady returns are dwarfed by emerging industries that never even existed years ago.

We can be tortoises or we can be hares. You can bet on the veteran and make a tidy sum, or you can put it all on the newcomer and win big.

Whichever path you take, your quest starts now.

Outliers

Everyone of us knows an outlier.

A special kind of person who seems to have everything in the world coming to them. A person who, through some exceptional means -- whether it be true talent, amazing luck, an affable personality, or a great support system -- enjoys life to the fullest. By the mere act of walking, all obstacles fold in awe of them as they waltz through the thicket of life. Friends nip at their heels, the only time you hear from them are when they post photos from foreign countries, and they shout status updates about car chases, shootouts, and explosions. They possess a worldly palate, having tasted delicacies from Africa to Asia, they have actually seen National Geographic scenery in real life, and they know how to find a good place to take a dump in five different languages.

All the while we sit in our homes and spectate their spectacular lives from afar. We ask ourselves:

"How do they do it?"

"What do they have that I don't?"

"Why are they off living the dream while I'm still stuck here dreaming?"

We can't even console ourselves with the thought that we may one day pass them because deep down inside, we know they'll always be above us, and we will be trying to catch up for as long as they live. Despite our envy and resentment, the moment we meet them, we are reminded of why this person is so much better than us.

So what do we do?

Be happy for these outliers?

Ignore them to maintain the integrity of averages?

Acknowledge their skewed life?

I can't speak for anybody else, but I can only take solace in the old adage that one man's garbage is another man's treasure.

Battlefield Bad Company 2: Vietnam

Considering my heritage, I could've welcomed this addition to Bad Company 2, but I've held out on getting it for the longest time. Now that I've played it, my decision was justified.

It's not that Vietnam is particularly bad, it's just awkwardly skewed in a few different places. The maps are suspiciously flat, which reduces the role of Recons a great deal (my de facto class). Certain maps seem to favor one team over the other, leading to an imbalanced game. The terrain just isn't very interesting to navigate and there aren't enough guns. The limited weapon selection reduces encounter variety and makes everything repetitious.

Pass over this expansion, it's not worth it.

Discernible Taste

Food disappoints me easily.

I don't have a sophisticated palate. My food vocabulary is limited since I only use three adjectives to describe taste: bad, alright, and good. Anything else would be overkill.

So it's hard for me to grasp the concept of food so good it's a revelation. Whenever anybody recommends a "great" restaurant to me, I take it with a grain of salt. The number of times I've walked out of a recommended joint feeling ambivalent is too many.

Do I have faulty taste buds or unrealistically high standards?

Maybe delicious cuisine is just that rare.

Speechless

Work is work.

The only days that stand out are the first few, when things are still fresh and novel. After that, the days begin to blur. We fall into the steady rhythm of work, gaining such familiarity with our tasks that what was once challenging is now an old hat.

The first few days are always the most memorable, but nothing could've prepared me for the hideous scene waiting for me at work. The only word that can describe such a miserable state of affairs is...

...tragic.

The gaming set up that I had to work with was an insult to me, my hobby, and my job. There was an impressive stack of games next to the 360, except that some of them were obviously pirated and therefore unplayable on an unmodded console. Every unwired controller from Wiimote to 360 pad had dead batteries; 360 games were stuck in the PS2; composite cables were connected to an HDTV; and PC games were bought as console games.

It is up to me to remedy this situation with my expertise.

I sure got my work cut out for me.

Tutoring

I'm a slacker and a scrambler.

The former causes the latter. I have a bad habit of putting things off. I'm not special in that regard, but its a habit that always puts me in an awkward situation.

I got myself a tutoring gig at GradePotential, a sort of third-party liaison that connects tutors with prospective students in need of proper tutelage. Most people don't need tutors for English (even though they do), so I was called upon for my "expertise" in economics.

I was to meet my student on a Saturday morning and since economics isn't really my area of expertise, I was going to do a little studying so that I could do a little teaching. I planned to research the subject during the week, but I put it off until Friday.

I planned to do it right after work, but I put it off until night.

I planned to do it right after dinner, but my older brother started watching a pretty interesting Korean drama called "My Princess," so I decided to put it off after a couple episodes.

I tried accessing the online textbook but server maintenance from 12:00AM-4:00AM forced me to put it off until after a couple hours of sleep.

Since my meeting was at 10:00AM, I wanted at least a couple hours to study, so I set my alarm at 7:30.

Of course, since I went to bed at 3:00 in the morning, 7:30 was probably too optimistic.

So began a long course of nodding on and off at ten-minute intervals for an hour. I finally got up and read the two chapters I was supposed to review with my student.

Feeling confident that I had grasped enough of the material to wing my way through it, I drove off to UCI to do some tutoring.

As soon as I reached the school, my student calls me and says that an emergency has come up and that the meeting is canceled.

Did I just get bailed out, or did she?

I was going to come in and tutor her with one hour's worth of reading, an extreme disservice in my opinion. But she cancels a meeting and makes me waste 25 miles of gas, hours of sleep, and some piece of mind.

How many times have I scrambled only to have tests pushed back or deadlines extended?

Too many to count, and truthfully, this is the kind of shit that enables me to continue slacking and scrambling.

Pay Day

There's something about getting a wad of cash that threatens one's frugality.

The penny-pinching proclivity begins to waver in the face of potential purchasing possibilities. With all this money, I can actually buy stuff now! I can afford products and services that I couldn't enjoy before because of the lack of purchasing power that I now possess!

It is this same principle that has gotten many a credit holder carried away. Resist the temptation to spend hard-earned cash on nonsense. I suppose its because we spend the bulk of our early life not earning anything that the moment we do, we give ourselves the privilege to spend without consequence, and since we're all piggybacking off of our parents anyways, we are free to rack up debts without compromising our living situation.

Don't buy yourself into an unsavory statistical category and exercise a little restraint.

But everybody loves a payday, so why not celebrate?

How To Get A Job After Graduating

The goal of getting a job always looms over any fresh college graduate. It's an enterprise rife with disappointment and self-deprecating revelations. It makes us wonder:

"Will I ever get out of this hole?"

You have to do things in order to do things. Once you start an action, it makes all subsequent actions a lot easier to stomach. It's like pushing a boulder down a hill. The hardest part is getting it to move in the first place. Unless your name is Chris Redfield, punching boulders don't come natural.

For the rest of us, we need help. It could be through friends, family, a mentor, connections, a network, or just plain luck. As with most things, it's an amalgam of factors, not one, that gets us what we need.

So begins a new job for me that I got through my brother-in-law.

The first time I met my boss, Arthur, was like any other meeting with a slightly deaf seventy-year old. It was too early to be patronized so loudly. He had rough hands, a rigid posture, and one tone of speech: commanding. His interrogatives might as well be imperatives.

My job was simple: look after his 33 year-old handicapped son.

Before you fret, it's not a physical disability, but a mental one. He has a severe case of "I can't remember what I ate for breakfast" syndrome, or short-term retrograde amnesia. It's almost Memento status, but he still has the ability to make new memories -- it just takes awhile.

Arthur went on to explain the job duties, detailing all of his son's quirks and ways to deal with him. From the sound of it, Noah sounded like a micromanagement nightmare.

When I first met my charge, Noah, he greeted me as if we were old friends. I hypothesized that the nature of his condition necessitated a friendly demeanor to any and everyone since he'd never know if they'd actually met before...that, or he was just being friendly. He's a big guy, towering over me by at least a head and a half, with Asiatic features.

For all of Arthur's build up, Noah was surprisingly friendly and easy to look after. Arthur told me of his son's excellent NBA 2K skills since he plays a lot of sports games. His double digit blowout loss, courtesy of me, said otherwise. I played the Lakers against his Rockets and owned him easily.

He forgot it ever happened. If it was me, I wouldn't want to remember either.

I'll give the job a shot.

Rio

You know the influence of games is powerful when everybody associates Rio de Janeiro with Call of Duty. Dudes with guns running in the favela does not a Call of Duty reference make.

It's hard to discard mental associations though. Rio de Janeiro will forever be linked to memories of multiplayer slaughter.

And maybe Fast Five.

Fast Five

Simplicity is underrated.

When things are simple, it's hard to screw up. This is the principle behind Fast Five.

It's not a terribly complex story, but it works in the movie's favor. It's about fast cars and explosions, character depth is unnecessary by design, so try to ignore the forced relationships, shallow characterization, and empty dialogue. You'll enjoy the movie a lot more that way.

I enjoyed the movie, even though it still suffers from frenetic Hollywood shaky cam syndrome. If it weren't for the nonsensical "gritty" screen shaking, one could actually appreciate the complexity and composition of the stunts. Alas, the world of action movies is forever tainted by the Bourne Supremacy.

Curse you Paul Greengrass.

Issuu Issues

It takes headaches to get ahead. The successful completion of a task always involves some kind of head-scratching complication that swallows a whole lot of time, spews out nonsense, and tests your patience.

I wanted to show off my work from the time I was editor of The 'Vine. I heard of a site called Issuu that specializes in Web publishing. It would be a great way of displaying my portfolio without sending large attachments with my emails.

I uploaded my pdfs and saw that everything looked good until I realized that the gutter in the center of the page was messed up. The left page seemed to bleeding into the right. It could safely be ignored by any other less cultured designer, but it offended my aesthetic sensibilities.

Ever encountered a problem that you just couldn't put into words? How do you search "messed up gutter in Issuu?" After some ninja googling, I figured out that I had to re-save my files as single-page pdfs as opposed to double-page.

The solution was simple enough, if only I had the original project files on hand. I backed up all my work but I kept files on both my laptop and the computers at school. Once the year ended, I copied over all the files to my laptop, the caveat being that my files had the same name, which gave me lots of duplicates.

After I found the files I needed among the duplicates, I scoured Adobe Indesign for an option that allowed me to switch the file from double to single-page view. I couldn't find the option, so I looked into modifying the existing pdf to make it compatible instead.

I couldn't find a way.

In the end, I re-saved the files with default settings and uploaded them.

It worked.

The problems that solve themselves are the worst kind, because what are you going to do if they come up again?

Stumble around blindly until you fall into the solution?

Sounds good to me.

Trying New Things

This is the part where I explain what's going on. At the moment, I'm laying in the comfort of my own bed, Swyping away to my heart's content on my smart phone. I don't think I ever imagined being able to pull off this kind of task without a keyboard. It's a lot more intuitive than you would've expect. I, for one, am excited about what the future holds.

Ocean

A wave is coming.

With each second that ticks on by, with each minute that passes, with every day that becomes yesterday, I feel a noose tighten around my neck. It’s getting tighter as the earth spins. It fixes me in place, and I struggle helplessly as I watch a wave as tall as twenty feet approach from the distance. Unless I can cut myself loose and build a makeshift raft out of cash in two months, I will drown. I’ve got to turn this around somehow. I have to ride the wave, not be engulfed by it. I have to ride the crest as far as I can; farther than I have ever gone before, and hopefully, I can reach my destination.

Otherwise, I’ll spend my whole life floating out in the ocean. Time to get organized, sophisticated, and operational.

Peace Walker

Peace Walker is one of the greatest PSP games I have ever played. Its fun, endlessly entertaining, and relentless addicting. It somehow merges the “gotta catch ‘em all” mentality of Pokémon with the trademark tactical espionage action that Metal Gear Solid is renowned for. Kojima Productions tailored the series’ gameplay for portable play, with great results.

The game follows the story of Big Boss and takes place after the events of Metal Gear Solid 3. Big Boss and a cohort, Kazuhira Miller, are in charge of the Militaires Sans Frontières (MSF), an independent army. What follows afterward is an adventure into the jungles of Costa Rica to fight against invading forces that seem to be lead by the CIA. I won’t spoil the story since a large part of the MGS experience is watching the plot unfold through the comic-animated cutscenes. Although the cinematics are no longer in real-time, each character is still fully fleshed out with hours and hours of voice-acting. There are some real gems in the game from audio tapes to hilarious codec conversations, so there isn’t anything lacking from the production values front.

The gameplay is an amalgamation of past Metal Gear games. It incorporates the soldier recruitment mechanic from Portable Ops, a stripped down version of MGS3’s camo system, and the user-friendly controls of MGS4. The level design and enemy AI is modified to suit the mission-based, modular, and compact game design. This is further emphasized with the structure, by breaking the core game modes into Main Ops and Extra Ops. This allows the developers to integrate multiplayer (both competitive and coop) into the main game’s framework. By making the entire game mission-based, it encourages bursts of play and to get the best ranking for each mission (S-rankings as per Japanese custom).

Whereas past Metal Gear games stacked innovation on top of the core mechanics (such as first-person shooting, camo systems, etc), Peace Walker decides to go sideways. The innovation isn’t in the gameplay, which is decidedly simplified compared to its console brethren, but in the packaging of the gameplay. Kojima Productions has created a network of subsystems that work together to create an ecosystem of causes and effects.

Each soldier you recruit has ratings, and you can assign soldiers to different units from combat, R&D, and Medical based on these ratings. By placing soldiers with high ratings in their respective categories in the right departments, you can unlock new weapons and gadgets. In order to unlock the best gadgets, you have to recruit the best soldiers, which are in the hardest missions, which can only be done with the best equipment. Everything goes in a beautiful circle that encourages you to collect the best of the best in everything.

With Peace Walker bundled as part of the upcoming Metal Gear Solid HD collection, there is reason for you not to experience such an excellent entry in the Metal Gear Solid series.

Peace Walker is amazing.

Play it.

Paralell Processing

Computers are pretty neat creations that were designed with one idea in mind, "efficiency." A well-built machine can eat anything you throw at it, provided all the components work together in complete synchronicity. This means no bottlenecks. The processor isn't holding the GPU back, or the RAM isn't holding the system back, or the OS isn't holding the RAM back. To acquire such a beast of a machine that does everything well will cost quite some coin. That's why there are different configurations that meet different needs. Some people want a fast processor for video editing, some people want a cool and reliable machine for simple word processing and web browsing, and some just want the best of the best because they want to max out Crysis 2.

People are the same way. Replace processing with "thinking" and everything else with "skills." Companies look to hire specific skillsets. Some look for specialty machines designed to do one task really well, and some are just looking for well-rounded systems that can do a little bit of everything. There has been a shift in work philosophy however. Just like how processors have evolved from single core to multiple cores, so too have people shifted from specialists to generalists.

If you try looking for a single-core processor nowadays, it might be more expensive than you think, simply because they're out of production. The old-school experts are the same way. They make the big bucks simply because they're professionals in a small field, but this makes their expertise all the more rare.

When it came to my work, I used to do it in single-minded fashion. I grinded it out until I was done. Given that my time has now been split up in seven ways from Sunday, I can no longer afford the luxury of doing 5-hour marches. So I had to upgrade myself.

Ladies and gentlemen, I now possess the ability to work in projects in parcel-parallel fashion, which means I do a little bit of work on a different project each day. Instead of completing projects one after the other, I work on multiple projects in congruent fashion.

Computers don't have the ability to adapt themselves to different situations, fortunately, people can. That's why we can update computers with different parts and make them adapt to the different tasks we throw at them.

Ask yourself this: Do I need someone else to help me adapt, or can I do it myself?

The Freezeout

I went with my friend (now referred to as "S") to visit another friend (now referred to as "C") yesterday. C claimed that he was high, but I thought, "Hey, he might still be good company even when high -- after all, he was the most clever guy I knew." Turns out, being high is a conversational killer. Instead of a clever 3-way repartee, I got frozen out while S and C caught up with each other talking about mofos I never knew. I could try to jump into the conversation but what the hell would I say?

"Oh, that guy sounds cool. Oh, that guy sounds like a dick. Oh, I don't know that guy at all!"

I got the freeze. Funny thing is that it was my idea to visit C in the first place. S and C are in a full blown conversation and I'm just sitting aside like slab meat doing nothing but languishing. I guess the only solution to the freezeout is to get the hell out of there and don't look back.

I remember taking a test that figured out what each of our individual strengths are. One of the qualities that one could specialize in is called "includers." Includers are the kinds of people who feel like they need to include everybody in on the fun.

S and C are obviously not of this class.

I need to find some includer friends.

Trolls Be Trollin'

There are 3 types of trolls: The fun troll, the dumb troll, and the natural troll.

1. The Fun Troll

The fun troll just wants to mess around and f with your mind. There's nothing malicious about this brand of trolling. Unless you're Joe Pesci, you'll have a nice laugh at the end of the troll session. It's all in good fun.

2. The Dumb Troll

The dumb troll is a troll who persistently makes outrageous comments not because he's trying to be disingenuous, it's because he's too much of an idiot to realize that he has been duped. These are the types who stubbornly refuse to change their mind and regurgitate untruths. Feel pity for these trolls and move on.

3. The Natural Troll

The Natural Troll is a troll who is not trying to troll at all, it's just how he is. It takes a special kind of asshole to be constantly trolling every part of the day, but he's not trolling--he's just living. It might be best for your health to avoid Natural Trolls at all costs.

Everybody trolls. It's all a matter of what kind you are. As with all things in life, moderation is the best policy. Too much trolling and you'll find yourself stuck on an island with giant blood-thirsty crabs who love the taste of troll. Consider yourself warned.

Laid to Waste

I make things up as I go along. I find that it gives me more…adaptability. Now those with a plan, I can respect them. It takes a lot of time and effort to come up with a plan, and when they can actually execute it, there’s probably no better feeling. But plans don't always go the way you want them to. What if the plan was flawed from the start? What if the situation changes and what was once a good plan now becomes a bad one? That’s why I stay free. I don’t want to be locked down by the “plan” because the “plan” could be a one way ticket to nowhere.

Control

My family doesn't celebrate birthdays, and by celebrate, I mean nobody goes through the time and effort to set up a little shindig for our next step towards decay and eventual death. My 22nd was the first time that I actually celebrated a birthday and I basically did everything myself: buying the drinks, getting the food, and setting up the space. I did get some help courtesy of D and C, but I directed most of it. Even though birthdays are usually events where the birthee is supposed to do nothing save enjoy his time, there's something to be said about taking control of your own celebration. Never let it be said that I wasn't generous, accommodating, and way too mindful of others on a day when the only person I'm supposed to give a shit about is myself.

I'm reversing the trend. The birthday boy does something nice for everybody instead.

Happy 22nd you bastard!

Undue Attention

What is it about a birthday that gets everybody;s attention? Rarity? It's not that rare considering it happens regularly once a year (and in some cases, twice). Some people don't even celebrate birthdays but they're outliers. I think American culture instills in us, a celebratory streak. I think the more excuses we have to have fun, the better, and because we associate birthdays with fun, we have to go out of our way to congratulate somebody on their age level up. So just for today, I get birthday wishes for doing absolutely nothing. Nice to be congratulated on something beyond my control.

Love. Sick.

I see her face,

My chest gets tight,

I up my pace,

She remains in sight,

I look away,

And I try to flee,

To my dismay,

I can't get free,

My stomach turns,

My belly rumbles,

My insides churn,

And my legs stumble,

But I have learned,

That it cant be stopped.

I get dizzy,

And I get sweaty,

I hold my breath,

Cause I can feel death,

I feel it rise,

I feel it rising,

Its no surprise,

I know this feeling,

I take my leave,

Rushing to the stall,

And I heave, heave, heave,

Until I've heaved it all.

This problem of mine, is surely of mind,

But I can't accept, such nervous concept.

If a girl, is around,

I will make, retched sound.

I close my eyes, cause I am sick,

How I despise, such harsh afflict.

This my problem, I keep hidden,

The only way, I could fit in.

Between home and school, the sacred border,

Difference between, health and disorder.

Style of her hair,

Does not matter.

Color of her eye,

Is not factor.

The shape of her face,

Unimportant.

The width of her waist.

Mind discordant.

How her body looks, and how she appears,

Is of no concern, because of my fears.

Every woman, if so close they came,

My inside urges, I cannot contain.

And the end result, is always the same.

For this affliction, for who could I blame?

For how long have I suffered?

It's biological.

As long as I remembered,

It's physiological.

Is there any cure in sight?

It's pathological.

Only solution is flight,

It's illogical.

And impossible.

The only thing I know,

Learned from experience,

From past present go,

Lack of resilience,

Is if I'm close to chick,

My only response is

To get very very sick.

Love.

Sick.

Impulse

One of these days, I'm going to get over that little impulse that tells me at first glance to "bail out!" Knowing that a task is ahead of me, I allow my apprehension to make the decision: don't engage at all. This a particularly nasty habit of mine that might be responsible for a great deal of lost opportunities, how great I will never know. What I need to do is change this impulse from a negative one to a positive one. My first thought can't be "I'll do it later," it has to be "I'll do it now." If I can train myself to think that way, I do believe that my output would increase by an amazing 100%.

It's mental obstacles like these that threaten our potential. A lifetime of second-guessing and cognitive dissonance under the guise of calm rationalization only trains us to become self-satisfied sheep with no urge to do anything interesting outside of our zone of comfort. Ditch the zone, get uncomfortable and force yourself to do things that you wouldn't until you feel comfortable doing it. Widen your zone and become a beast.

Don't hedge, go ahead and bet the farm.

Laziness

I believe that every individual has the capability to be a hard worker. Laziness is not physiological, it's just a mental affliction. If we all had our own personal therapists, laziness wouldn't exist (although I might be giving therapists too much credit). It's an issue of willpower and whether we have enough of it to overcome our cultural need to do nothing.

Laziness can't be inherent. If we are to believe Darwin, laziness would get you killed. Laziness is a byproduct of modern technology, a once luxury now turned into everyday commodity.

If anything good has come out of laziness, it's the idea of working smarter--not harder.

People have a limited amount of energy each day that they could direct towards thinking or doing. I wouldn't call it an efficient use of resources if you make a guy do a single repetitive task for an entire day. If one engineer thought about it hard enough and built a machine to do the task for him, bravo. He's too lazy to do it himself, but smart enough to build a machine to do it for him. That's efficiency.

That's all I'm really talking about. Doing more with less. Let's not get ourselves bloated with filler and nonsense just because we could afford to. Not all problems can be solved with hard work. Sometimes, the hardest thing to do, is to actually think about it.

Sandpaper

What is the point of sanding? To smooth out the rough edges or to discard layers? If it's the former, sanding is a piece of cake; if it's the latter, sanding is a tedious repetitive task with no end in sight.

Sandpaper is quite an interesting tool. It's not as rough as you'd expect when you put it against your skin (although I would advise against rubbing), but if you wipe it against wood, you can see minute particles being shaved off before your eyes. If you rub it vigorously, you can reach the inner layers of the wood. It's amazing how one piece of paper can turn the moon into a smooth baby's bottom.

Surely there's a sandpaper equivalent for every problem in life?

Captain America: The First Avenger

Captain America is a decent movie.

That's my one-sentence review. Sure I can elucidate as to why its decent, but most people just want a recommendation of "see" or "not see." My recommendation is "sorta see."

The movie is character driven, and we see how the weak Steve Rogers becomes the awesome Captain America. Most of the actors do their job appropriately. Chris Evans sells his character, awkward around women, but awesome around Nazis (by virtue of punching them in the face). Hayley Atwell is surprisingly competent as Peggy Carter and Tommy Lee Jones does a solid job. My only complaint is Hugo Weaving's unsteady German accent as the Red Skull.

As far as superhero movies go, Captain America errs on the side of grounded. Despite being a supersoldier, Captain America doesn't engage in the special-effects laden hijinks of his modern buddies such as Thor or Ironman. The movie does have an old-school feel where punches are more effective than laser beams (though there's no shortage of that either).

A mix of old school, high tech, and heart, Captain America is a send up of superheroes from the golden age. If you're a fan of superheroes in general, watch it.

Reaching

I have two types of friends. I have the reachers and the reached. People don't have infinite attention spans, so we're forced to focus on a few people. Even though there are persons with hundreds upon hundreds of "friends," realistically, they only deal with ten at most on an intimate level -- or even fewer.

That said, when it comes to setting things up, certain friends have certain contact preferences. The majority of my friends are reached, because they're lazy or self-entitled. How great would it be to just relax and let others ring me up all day long? By default, I have to be a reacher. The only way to get anything done these days is to reach out to others. Somebody has to get the ball rolling.

Backdating

I had the opportunity to post this yesterday but I consciously held back as to demonstrate the wonders of the internet. As it is, I actually did post this yesterday, but you would've never known. Unless you're an internet sleuth of the highest order, there is no way for you to actually know that this is backdated.

I could very well go back into last year and fill out all the empty dates if I wanted to, but there's really no point in doing that. While this is a chance to show off one of the neat features of the internet to be both past, present, and future, there's also another reason I held back. My workspace is infected with flies, and at night, these particular flies are vicious. These insect bites leads to furious inflammation and itchiness. This nonsense actually prevented me from running last week, simply because the discomfort would've been too much to bear. It also means that I'm restricted to operating during the day or morning. Night work is off-limits lest I suffer from another bout of scratching ankles.

F the flies.

Deadlines

I typically queue up my blog posts one day in advance. When I miss it, boy do I miss it. I've been batting 100% so far and haven't missed a single day. Will I start missing out on my daily routine? As evidenced by this post, no, I won't. However, it's hard to come up with material on the spot. Can you imagine trying to come up with something to write about every day? It's funny how at one point, there's not enough time to talk about everything you want, and then the next point, you got absolutely nothing.

The thing about a routine is that the more you do it, the more automatic it becomes. Practice doesn't make perfect, but it makes things a helluva lot easier. It also helps that I've let go of my obsession with substantive posts. I used to think that if you're going to post something, it had to be meaty with a lot of substance. I'm past that. Today's reading demands quick-to-the-point concision. It's better to throw a haymaker than a ton of jabs.

Journalistic Secret Sauce

I can never understand the public's fascination with celebrity progeny. Why would anyone want to see pictures of somebody else's kids? The stories that garner the most traffic are ones that deal with completely trivial issues like Hollywood. I do seem to remember something about a looming crisis about raising the government's debt ceiling, but the front page is telling me to be more concerned about how great this A-lister looks on the red carpet. We wonder why paparazzi's are so vicious when we eat their shit like flies on a hot summer day at the park.

We're just drawn to people. We want to know about others because people are a source of infinite engagement. But do we really need to feed on a steady diet of celebrity gossip? That's why Facebook is so popular. It takes celebrity gossip down to our level. We can entertain ourselves with never-ending news updates from our "friends."

How do you get people to care? What's the secret sauce?

Write about what they know.

Place

You know what I tried today? I decided to do my usual blogging routine -- but with one crucial difference -- I did it outside. There's this conception that artistic types are more withdrawn, as if we all needed personal space, an appropriate and quiet environment to let our creative juices flow.

As a writer, I've read articles about how to solve such niggling issues as a writer's block or finding the right time of day to let loose our creativity. I think it's mostly nonsense but there is some merit to a change of scenery. As of this moment, I am writing in my notebook at Hart Park (this is obviously transcribed then), surrounded by wind, green grass, and warm sunshine. Maybe it's the place or the fact that I jogged out here, but it feels like my brain's loose. It's a lot easier to write down what I'm thinking.

Typing has spoiled me. I forgot how physically tasking it is to simply write with a pencil. Much more time-consuming as well, but it feels better for putting down raw ideas.

The reason I decided t ago outside was to avoid the stereotype of a holed up writer. I wouldn't want to emerge from my cave with pale skin and sunken eyes. Who says you can't be creative outside?

New addition to my routine.

I'm Human

Never knock something until you try it. I never figured myself to be a dancer, but it's not like I've ever put myself in the situation where I could. So color me completely unsurprised when I found out I couldn't, even when sufficiently intoxicated.

Am I human, or am I dancer?

I guess I'm human.

Okay, I lied a little bit. I could dance, but only under extreme circumstances. I have to be really drunk to do it.

Dancing just ain't in me.

Now the reason I bring up dancing is because I was in a club/bar not too long ago. My friend invited me out for a drink with two other buddies. What followed that night was something pretty funny. My friend is also of my ilk, human in every way. Even after having downed 4 or 5 drinks, he still could not muster the strength to dance, not even when one of his buddies hooked him up with two other girls who sandwiched him. His awkward expressions and breathless pleas for help could do nothing to soothe my laughing soul.

I left to get a few more drinks and when I returned, our two buddies were pissed. My friend squandered his chances.

What else can you do when a guy cockblocks himself?

Once you try something and decide for yourself that it ain't worth it, cross it off your list. There's no point in satisfying the whims of friends who promise good times. If it really is fun, then it should be instantaneous. If you have to account for various factors like location, time of day, and crowd, then it's not really worth it since the stars have to align every time.

Knowledge certainly speeds up the alignment process but now you're just getting to the point of too much work and not enough fun.

I think I'll give the dancing thing another shot. When the stars do align, perhaps the dancing beast will unleash. Won't that be quite a sight?

Buried

Buried comes with a novel concept: have an entire movie take place inside a coffin. When I say the entire movie, I really do mean the entire movie. No flashbacks or nothing, just the coffin, the whole time. That doesn't mean our protagonist spends 90 minutes talking to himself in a wooden box. Fortunately, he was buried with a cell phone, and we get to watch him try to call for help (and hitting various dead-ends along the way).

Part of the fun of watching the movie is finding out exactly who this guy is and how he even got there. I won't spoil it since its part of the experience. The movie is effective, and if you have the slightest bit of claustrophobia, this movie might stretch your tolerance to the limit.

The movie is worth a watch, but you might end up with a hollow feeling by the movie's end--a feeling of pointlessness. As most movies go, it's all about the journey, not the end.

Routine

Getting into a routine feels good. It's probably because a routine implies a specified amount of tasks to be accomplished on a daily basis. Completion fills most people with satisfaction. I can understand the appeal of a routine. If everybody unlocked Trophies/Achievements just for doing stuff, more people would actually do stuff. People shouldn't be rewarded for just doing anything though. It has to be something of merit, something productive. You don't want the days to pass by without having anything to show for it. Even if its something as small as writing, art, composition--whatever, as long as it's something, then it's good.

The easy part is coming up with a routine.

The hard part is making sure you keep it.

Positive Reinforcement

Let's not reward mediocrity. Saying "try your best" all the time devalues the word "best." What was once best is now average. This society spends too much time in the extremes. It's either supreme exaltation or total dehumanization. Is there no such thing as gradients? Creating such skewed lines of "good" and "bad" is similar to the hackneyed "morality" systems found in games like Infamous. Such blatant binary configurations of ethics removes all ambiguity, and in a world full of ambiguity, such a doctrine is dangerous. We have children growing up believing themselves as hot stuff or abject failures when they are neither.

All things in moderation. A little perspective goes a long way.

The Bird People in China

In my quest to find more films by Japanese filmmaker Takashi Miike, I stumbled upon a messageboard talking about each user's favorite Miike movie. An oft echoed answer was The Bird People in China. Quite an odd title, considering Miike's filmography. It was a bitch trying to find a copy but when I finally did, I left it to simmer on my hard drive for well over 4 years. I finally watched it just the other day and I am left mildly entertained.

The story revolves around the idea of traveling to new places and exploring exotic locales. It romanticizes the entire idea of travel. Maybe that's why so many of us want to travel, it's a chance to get out our ruts. The impetus for change might just be a change of scenery.

There is something quite compelling about the idea of foreign love. How often have we entertained the possibility that we just might meet our special someone abroad? They say that communication is the basis of all relationships, so how does foreign love work if you can't communicate verbally? There are other forms of communication whether it be sign language, gestures, or some physical expression of love, but it's quite hard to discuss the particulars and complexities of a culture you don't quite understand. Perhaps its the simplicity that intrigues us. There's no need for such prattling things as politics or religion. It's a love based on the irrationality of love.

For some, the foreign and exotic is a thing that repulses, but for others, its a thing that attracts. Just ask the Japanese, they always dig on Americans.

How two people can connect from two completely different worlds is a beautiful thing. I wonder if I someday experience it for myself?

Notepads

I bought myself a stack of notepads last summer in preparation for school. I found myself not using notebooks to their full potential, and the convenience of having a pad of paper in my pocket was much better than lugging around a 8.5x11 inch wad of paper. It was much easier to record random thoughts as well.

It's just too bad that once I got my iPod, my notepads were rendered useless. Not all is lost however, since notepads are still exceedingly useful tools for actual reporting, but when it comes to recording fleeting thoughts, I'd rather use my iPod instead.

Cut Me Down

Why do you build me up buttercup, baby, just to cut me down?

Nothing makes me come down to earth quicker than criticism. It forces me to exercise apropos.

1. Use "like" for nouns. Use "as" for verbs.

2. Check your word placement, and make sure that the subject is known.

3. Don't use ridiculous or insane to mean "a lot."

4. Write appropriate to the situation (formal in formal, cheeky in cheeky).

5. Cut down redundancies. If the paragraph works without it, delete it.

6. Don't make vague assumptions or statements, make everything clear (especially in regards to "it" and "they").

7. Use ACTIVE verbs.

8. Use the correct prepositions.

9. Idiomatic empty expressions should be omitted, and if used, apply appropriate context to qualify and imbue it with meaning.

Day One

Money has sort of killed my gaming habits. Funny thing to say, but let me explain for a moment. Back in the good 'ol days when I didn't have a job or financial aid, I had to save up money just to buy games. When the cash wasn't flowing, I had to pick my games carefully, because I was going to be playing it for a long time. I really enjoyed the heck out of my games back then because I had to, it's not like I could keep acquiring titles at an unsustainable rate.

But I don't really play games like that anymore. My current backlog is 18-long. Maybe it's because I have too many games that I can't decide which one to play first and in what order. I guess getting older does things to your mind, makes what you used to like not so great anymore. I'm not abandoning games, not by a long shot, but it's getting much harder for me to get into them.

I used to buy games Day One. It's always nice being the first kid on the block with the latest toy. Nowadays, not so much. Games I eagerly anticipate I play months after they released, even if it's in my possession for the entire time. Given how fast prices drop, I'm paying a $20 premium just to play before other people. With my time limited as it is, there's no reason to invest so much money when I'm not even taking advantage of the early benefits.

Few games force me to Day One, but when they do, it's usually special. Then again, it goes for anything really. It's not just games, it could be movies, TV shows, or just a special person. When you Day One, you make it count.

Standard Operating Procedure

I wish courtesy was SOP. We live in the kind of world where anything out of the ordinary is extraordinary, especially when it comes to something as small as common courtesy. Whenever someone demonstrates a cordial gesture towards me, I am honestly floored. It just goes to show how rare an act of human generosity truly is. I think our culture is a bit twisted. Often we rail on about the things that annoy us instead of focusing on the things that give us cause to celebrate, and when we do celebrate, it's usually at the expense of someone else.

People should just be nice. Being the better man usually means going against that thorny thing called pride. So what if you're insulted? You're better than that. In a way, being the "better man" is also a form of pride.

Some of us just haven't leveled up our pride that high yet.

Douche By Degrees

There are nice people, and then there are douches. There are douche-lites, and total douches. Everything by degrees. Which one are you?

5th Degree Douche: Douche by Appearance

I'm pretty sure we've all walked down the street and seen some ultra-tan dude with bulging muscles, donning a wife beater, wearing aviator sunglasses, and with enough gel in his hair to erect the Eiffel tower. The first thought that comes to mind: this guy is a douche. Hell, I walk down the UCI campus and think half the dudes there are douches simply because is what they wear. It doesn't matter if they turn out to be swell guys because they are guilty of 5th degree douche, douche by appearance. Other offending articles of clothing include: skinny jeans, too-short t's, beanie's on a hot day, and shirts with self-aggrandizing logos.

4th Degree Douche: Douche by Omission

Ever left a text message on a friend's phone only for him to never answer back? Ever told somebody to hit you up later only for them to never get back to you? Ever called a guy out only for him to ignore you in front of everybody? Ever had a buddy that conveniently "forgot" that he owed you money? That, my friends, is what we call douche by omission. These are the people who are apparently "too busy" to make time for friends. Whether or not it's because they're legitimately busy is of no concern to me, because if I've been trying to set up something for the past couple weeks with little to no sign of any kind of reciprocation, you are a certified 4th degree douche. It's not what you did, it's what you didn't do. I'm looking at you Mr. Pink!

3rd Degree Douche: Douche by Words

I ain't your "bro" "brah," so don't be throwing douche vocabulary at me. 3rd degree douchery is particularly aggravating since they dominate conversations with their banality. They brag, soliloquize about inanity, and make remarkably off-color jokes. They think themselves as center of the universe and must always have the spotlight on themselves. You have people who intentionally adopt controversial stances just to be different, you have the whiners who complain about absolutely everything in life, you have guys seemingly afflicted with Tourette's who cannot express themselves without expletives, and you have the preachy mofo's who wants to change everybody's minds and is always right. If they'd just shut up, the world would be so much better.

2nd Degree Douche: Douche by Action

As bad as it is listening to douchespeak, you could at least tune them out. It's not as easy to avoid 2nd Degree Douchery however. It's a rather large umbrella of actions that includes generally dick moves that screw over other people. Things like cutting in line, cockblocking, cheating, stealing your buddy's girlfriend, saving over your friend's save, team-killing, griefing, kicking puppies, keying cars, knocking over trashcans, pissing on furniture, and everything that should be considered as a crime but isn't. By this metric, 90% of the drivers on the road are 2nd degree douches--which sounds about right.

1st Degree Douche: Douche by Thought

Whence doth all douche derive? From the thought. This is the most dangerous form of douchery. This is why we have laws that make no sense, why our prisons are packed to the brim, why our schools are stretched to capacity, why our tax money is diverted towards meaningless endeavors, and why people don't know any better. This is the douche that you don't know is a douche who could be pulling douche moves behind the scenes. It's like finding out that the pleasant neighbor next-door was really a serial killer all along.

If you think like a douche, you are a douche.

6th Degree Douche: Douche by Association

If you know a douche and are friends with one, then by association, you are also a douche. It behooves you to take anti-douche measure and seek corrective action so that you may no longer be a douche. Let's not live in a society where douchery is encouraged to be free and thriving, we must all make an effort to curtail the epidemic and stamp douchery out of existence once and for all.

All it takes for douchery to prevail is for good men to do nothing.

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

Castelvania has always followed a simple storyline. Dracula is revived and the Belmont clan must go and kill him--until he gets resurrected again anyways. But the latest installment does away with all that and reboots the entire franchise. In conjunction with Kojima Productions, this is MercurySteam's Castlevania: Lords of Shadow.

You play as Gabriel Belmont, a knight in an order that was founded to fight against the minions of hell. Darkness has covered the lands and Gabriel must find a way to repel the darkness. In his adventure, he comes to learn of a mask that has the power to potentially revive his lost wife. The mask has three pieces, with each piece being held by a "lord of shadow."

Castlevania is certainly in the running for "most epic game" of this year. The first thing you'll notice is how amazing the graphics are. There's impeccable craftsmanship in the environments. The textures are sharp and extremely detailed. The world is immaculate, imaginative, and twisted. The enemy designs are outstanding and the animation overall is superb. The lighting is moody, ambient, and fantastic. If it weren't for the dodgy framerate, Lords of Shadows would easily take the graphics crown on consoles. The presentation overall is extremely polished. The music is amazing, and this combined with the visuals make for some breath-taking scenes.

I'm gushing quite a lot about the presentation, so does that bode well for the actual gameplay? Many of the mechanics are borrowed from other games (most notably from God of War) although the game does throw in a few differentiating wrinkles. There's the standard assortment of light and heavy attacks, blocking and dodge rolls, and jump abilities. By gathering orbs leftover from slain enemies or broken pots, you can upgrade your move sets. An interesting twist is the light and dark mechanic where you can activate powers to enhance your combat abilities. Activating dark powers increases your damage while activating light powers increases your healing. By alternating between the two, as well as dodging, blocking, and parrying, you can make short work of the enemies.

The enemies are plucked from the series' history but with updated 3D designs. Ghouls, goblins, giant spiders, vampires, trolls, and ghost armors are just some of the baddies you'll encounter, each with their own patterns of attacks and nuances to exploit. In between battles, you'll have to solve puzzles and platform in order to advance in the stage.

You'll also have access to subweapons like the classic dagger as well as new ones. You can throw out fairies that distract enemies as you build up combo or shatter special crystals for a one-hit kill summon. The game is challenging, even on normal, and some of the puzzles will have you scratching your heads. Most puzzles involve pushing items around and activating switches through various means.

Castlevania is all about adventure, and Lords of Shadow has that in spades. You'll trek across an incredibly diverse range of environments from rainy forests, frozen lakes, dark swamps, enormous castles, to rocky netherworlds. The campaign is fairly lengthy, taking more than 15 hours to complete.

Lords of Shadow is an even mix between adventure and action. Touchy platforming controls hurts the level navigation a bit and combat isn't as sophisticated or flexible as in other games, but it manages to carve out its own rhythm. Despite the niggling issues, Lords of Shadows is a fine game and puts every other 3D Castlevania to shame.

Yakuza 3

Yakuza 3 (also known as Ryu ga Gotoku, "Like a Dragon") is the latest installment of the Yakuza series. You play as Kiryu Kazuma, an ex-Yakuza badass. The storyline continues right after the end of the second game. Fortunately, for those who have never played the previous games, there is a flashback function for those who wish to catch up on the game's story.

Yakuza 3 is essentially a modern-day action-RPG set in Japan. It contains elements of open-world design and classic beat'em ups. The world is set in the fictional district of Kamurocho, a thriving section of town filled with night clubs, restaurants, and games. You can walk around the city, go into shops, play minigames, but most importantly of all, encounter random thugs who wish to have their asses kicked, courtesy of you. While it may paint a rather dangerous portrait of Japan, it's a lot of fun to encounter foolish thugs as you stroll around the city. It's the equivalent of a "random encounter." When this happens, the game shifts into "battle mode," with bystanders running and forming a spectator circle.

Initially, the game's battle system will feel a little stiff, especially if you're used to fighters. Once you start leveling up your techniques, things start to loosen up and the fights flow a lot better. There are two types of attack, light and heavy. Combos are done with a combination of the two buttons. You can guard, run, and weave out of attacks. As you progress, you'll gain more techniques such as counter moves and parries. The trademark of the series is the "Heat" action. There's a blue bar underneath your health that builds up as you accrue combo hits without taking damage. After filling it up, you can do "Heat" actions, special context-sensitive moves that inflict massive damage. These Heat actions add a lot of spice to the battle and punctuates Kazuma's brutality against unsuspecting fools. Actions include curb stomps, pile drivers, face slams, and other awesome finishers.

The game is separated into chapters, each one containing a story-specific mission and set of sidequests. Sidequests are triggered by being at the right place at the right time. You usually have to play a minigame, conduct a fetchquest, or beat up some thugs. The story missions usually take place outside the main map, where you run through the level and fight a boss.

Like any proper open-world game, there are lots of minigames. You can go into gambling parlors and play mahjong and dice games. In the underground Casino, you can also play classic card games like black jack. There's a battle arena, bowling, the driving range, the batting cage, and even fishing. There's a lot to do in between bashing heads.

Yakuza 3 is a great blend between action and adventuring. It's one of the best exclusives for the PS3. If you feel like taking a trip to Japan but can't afford it, take a romp through Yakuza 3. It's the next best thing.

Lifesum

Nothing can sum up a person's life better than their autobiography, but since most of us don't have the time, patience, talent, or ghost writers to write about our oh-so-thrilling lives, we have the next best thing--our playlists. This ties directly into the old adage, "you are what you eat." There's a reason why "what do you like to listen to?" remains one of the most popular questions to ask when meeting a person for the first time. You are what you listen to.

People are just walking playlists. Some have music you like, and some have music you don't. Even if you don't like their music, you can at least respect it. Some playlists are padded out with filler songs, or have music that are so similar, they all sound the same. Some have an eclectic and incredibly diverse collection. Depending on their mood, people listen to chill, to dance, to reflect, or because it just sounds nice.

Whatever your playlist may be, it reflects your story.

It's your life's soundtrack.

And you know, I'd like to listen to it sometime.

Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep

Ever since Utada Hikaru's Simple and Clean embedded itself into the hearts of gamers everywhere, Kingdom Hearts became one of gaming's most popular series. I still remember reading a preview of the game in an old issue of GamePro and thinking to myself, "Final Fantasy and Disney characters together? It might just be crazy enough to work!" Multiple games and millions of copies sold later, my initial thought has been redeemed.

Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep, for the PSP, is the latest entry that takes place before the first KH game. The story revolves around three characters, apprentices, that are trying to become keyblade masters. Despite being a prequel, the story sets up a tantalizing preview to a possible Kingdom Hearts 3 (if it ever gets announced).

Birth by Sleep is the best Kingdom Hearts game yet. If you like the series, you have absolutely no excuse for not having played the best entry in the franchise. Go play it now.

The KH series has one of the most confusing, nonsensical, and convoluted storylines in any medium. Every character is a subvariant of some other character. Trying to make sense of it is futile. For the most part, you just kick back, watch the fireworks, enjoy the voice-acting and fantastically crafted cutscenes, and beat up on monsters with a giant key.

The campaign can be played with three different characters. Terra, the bruiser; Ventus, the speed demon; and Aqua, the magical caster. Their different play styles makes each campaign slightly unique, even though you go through the same locales and meet up at the same end. As most multi-character campaigns go, you have to beat the game with all three to unlock the true ending.

If you've played a KH game, you've played a KH game. The game follows in the steps of its console brethren, where light platforming is mixed in with combat. You visit a world, solve the problem by bashing on monsters, and move on to the next place. Through your adventure, you pick up new moves that you can equip and level up. Techniques can be improved with good ol' fashioned beatings or through a mini-game that relies on dice rolls. Techniques are divided into three categories: movement, combat, and magic.

What makes Birth by Sleep so great is the difficulty balance. It's actually challenging and requires the player to employ their techniques in order to succeed, as opposed to just mashing buttons. This goes a long way in making battles fun, varied, and exciting. The level progression is natural, and the technique system is open to experimentation.

Each campaign will last about 8 hours, leading to a total play run of 25+ hours. There is an arena where you can take on waves of enemies similar to the coliseum in past games. There's also a co-op multiplayer component where you can take on the inversed (the name of Birth by Sleep's enemies) with a buddy.

If you enjoy action-RPG's, Disney, or convoluted storylines, get Birth by Sleep. You won't be disappointed.

Tail-End

There's two types of self-aggrandizement: necessary self-aggrandizement, and insecure self-aggrandizement. The former is simply marketing. Sometimes the only way to stand out in a sea of "me-too's" is to embellish. Everybody does it. The only way to compete is to do it better than everybody else.

But the latter case is simply because of insecurity.

This insecurity manifests itself in different ways, and one of those ways is in an e-mail signature. What is an e-mail signature? It's just text appended to the end of every e-mail you send out. Most people just sign their names and position, but some take the e-mail signature to the extreme.

Is it really necessary to put in a signature that's more than 5 lines?

These are some real-world examples:

(Name)
University of California, Irvine

Political Science, School of Social Science

Urban Studies and Social Ecology, School of Social Ecology

Chief of Staff, Office of the President, ASUCI

Bus Driver, Anteater Express, ASUCI

Student Assistant, CDRF Core/Anderson Lab (iMind)

Mobile: (xxx) xxx-xxxx Email: xxx@uci.edu

-----

(Name)

University of California, Irvine

Political Science, School of Social Science

Literary Journalism, School of Humanities

Public Relations Commissioner, Office of the President, ASUCI

Staff Writer, New University

Mobile: (xxx) xxx-xxxx Email: xxx@uci.edu

-----

(Name)
University of California, Irvine
Literary Journalism, School of Humanities
xxx@uci.edu

New University Staff Writer
3100 Gateway Commons
Media and Communications Director,
Office of the Student Regent
Humanities Gateway 1305
The Vine Assistant Editor,
Office of the President, ASUCI
G244 Student Center

-----

I'm not impressed at all.

Jomatto
Master of Propaganda
Blood Type O
Old Enough to Drink
Asian

Pretty Good Gamer
Not Bad at Writing
In the Greatest Place in the Universe

Better Than You

Protagonist

You are the main character of your own story. Who could be more important than yourself? Sure, there are people important to you, but they're only important because you know them. They're the supporting cast, but you're the lead. When it comes to writing stories, you have to mind your audience--even if you're the only one.

That's why I act as if someone is always watching me. Simple tasks such as taking a seat or opening a door must be done with grace and poise. There is a meta-camera following me, recording my every move and it would be quite ill if I were to present to this camera my uncouth side--though, with repeated practice, I have practically banished all uncouthness from my demeanor.

It doesn't matter what I'm doing, because I always put on my best face.

Bleed Reading

Although I can only speak from personal experience, I'm sure my case is the prototypical case for all classes. When a professor assigns reading, they don't actually assign reading. Sure they give you a number of pages, and if they're feeling generous, they'll actually specify which sections to read, but for the most part, we just get page numbers. A textbook isn't just filled with text, it comes with a bunch of other material from side bars, mini boxes, photos, statistics, graphs, captions, and sample cases. Although it's never explicitly stated that you have to read those, it's implied.

I call that extra reading, "bleed reading." Bleed simply refers to the edges of the page in the printing business. You have to make sure you have a large margin or else the printing machines will cut off parts of your layout. All these tacked-on extras thrive on the margins, away from the meat of the textbook. That's the reason I call it bleed reading.

Common sense dictates that you read it because you know you're going to have to read it anyways. Besides, you never know, you'll probably learn more from bleed reading than from regular reading.

Homefront

Since I'm not feeling productive today, I'm going to keep this review short. Don't worry, this game doesn't warrant a comprehensive or exhaustive review to begin with. In a genre as tired as the first-person shooter, what separates Homefront is the premise, where the United States gets invaded by North Korea. You play as a resistance fighter who tries to change the status quo by accomplishing military-related objectives (destroying critical facilities and blah blah blah). Despite the novel set-up, the gameplay is virtually identical to Call of Duty, but without the flash and spectacle that makes such rote gameplay palatable.

Shoot, get behind cover, throw the occasional grenade, run around with a shotgun, or snipe, blow up explosive barrels, control a turret, ride in a vehicle, and paint a target or two. This one sentence basically covers the whole game. The story is filled with generic characters from a hyperly-aggressive "I-don't-give-a-shit" grunt (eerily similar to Rico from Killzone) to a more compassionate female companion. Your character remains mute and soulless.

I haven't tried the multiplayer so I can't really comment on it.

The single campaign takes only a day to beat, so unless you're really committed to the online component, this is a rental at best. If you still want to shoot Koreans, I recommend Crysis instead.

Artificial Awakening

I can't remember the last time that I've woken up due to natural causes. Every time my eyes open, it's because of some stupid infernal beeping device whether it's a phone or alarm clock. It's a symptom of the fact that I've never had a room to myself. I'm always waking up because of my brother's nonsense--incessant alarms, annoying texts, and persistent ringtones. Can't a man escape from the world for one paltry second?


I already graduated from school, I don't need to be waking up so early.

God of War: Ghost of Sparta

Following after the heels of God of War 3 comes Ghost of Sparta, a bridge between GoW 1 and GoW 2. The story runs on a thread that was left dangling from the first God of War game, a concept involving Kratos' brother that was seemingly abandoned in further sequels--until now.

After taking the throne as the new god of war, Kratos is haunted by visions of his long lost brother Deimos. As it turns out, Deimos still lives but is trapped in the realm of the dead. Kratos must go and rescue him and kill a god or two along the way. The narrative carries a mythical simplicity where the protagonist must face his inner demons, as well as vicious Greek monsters.

What else can one say about the GoW gameplay template? There's combat, there's platforming, some puzzle-solving, and epic clashes between giant bosses. Ghost of Sparta delivers everything you expect from a GoW game with some wrinkles thrown in for good measure, the biggest of which is the spear and shield (popularized by the 300). It's one of the more satisfying alternate weapons to use in the series' history even if it is a little limited compared to the classic chain blades.

If I'm going to be honest, Ghost of Sparta is a better overall game than God of War 3. Don't get me wrong, the sense of scale from GoW 3 is unmatched, but Ghost of Sparta's design is more balanced and evenly paced. Everything flows together much more naturally. Kratos will traverse many locales from the legendary underwater city of Atlantis (and you will see exactly how it got submerged in the first place) to the realm of the dead. The level progression is seamless and organic in how it unfolds. The puzzles utilize Kratos' new abilities in clever ways. You can throw projectiles with the spears and by holding down the shoulder button, you can give your chains a little extra firepower (necessary to break certain objects).

The enemy encounters have a good mix of enemy types that force you to use all of Kratos' abilities. The game can be challenging, especially on the higher difficulty levels. The game lasts for about 8 hours at most, with skilled players beating the game well under that mark. Aside from some extra challenges, replay value is limited.

If God of War 3 left you hungering for some more Greek violence, Ghost of Sparta is worth a look, especially since it's going be re-released for the PS3 in HD alongside Chains of Olympus. This is one excellent game not to be missed.

Enslaved: Odyssey to the West

Enslaved is the latest game from Ninja Theory, the same developers as Heavenly Sword--which explains the uncanny resemblance between Trip (Enslaved) and Nariko (Heavenly Sword).

Talk about rehashing your own designs. It doesn't help when Heavenly Sword was accused of being a God of War clone, and that Enslaved is based off of the ancient Chinese story of Journey to the West. It's almost as if Ninja Theory doesn't have a single creative bone in their body. Even worse, they're currently developing the new Devil May Cry reboot which has caught a lot of criticism for its questionable aesthetics, the most glaring of which is Dante's redesign.

Fans of Devil May Cry are understandably upset since Dante went from stylish badass to coke-addicted hipster.

It makes me wonder if we'll see another variant of Nariko/Trip in DMC, but I digress. We are here to talk about Enslaved, a third-person action/adventure game where you get to play as Monkey (voiced by Andy Serkis).

As Monkey, you wake up in a cell on a giant flying airship. Trip, a girl who manages to escape, ends up sabotaging the airship and you have to get out before crashing to your death. After flying off on an escape pod, you wake up only to have Trip put a mind control device on your head. This is where the title comes in, "Enslaved." You have to help Trip get back to her hometown or else you'll suffer horrible pain. She promises she'll take the device off once you take her back, but as most adventures with misfits go, the two grow close over the course of their journey.

The game breaks down into two parts: combat and platforming. The developers try their best to blend the two into a coherent whole, and for the most part, they succeed. Each side is a little rough however.

Combat suffers from an unsteady framerate the dips below 30fps on occasion, which doesn't make for the most fluid combat experience. The fighting engine is simple enough, giving the player a slew of options that most can expect from the genre, a combination of dodge rolls, blocks, parries, light, and heavy attacks. Monkey wields a staff that also doubles as a projectile weapon. Each move is upgradeable using orbs that are collected from enemies and the levels. These enhancements to your combat arsenal make it so that you can keep up with the tougher enemies later on.

While not terribly complex, the combat holds an elegant simplicity. Certain attacks can be blocked while others have to be avoided. The game manages to throw a good mix of enemy types at you, forcing you to stay on your toes.

Platforming mixes in elements of Ico where you have to solve environmental puzzles and makes pathways for Trip to follow you. You can also put Trip on your back as you jump and climb around. Trip's technological hacking skills help you navigate through the levels and advance. Platforming apes its mechanics from Uncharted, driven mostly by automatic animation with the press of the "action" button. Context-sensitive commands allow Monkey to lift up heavy objects and interact with the world.

Despite running on the Unreal 3.0 engine, Enslaved is one of the most colorful games in recent memory, painting a rather lush post-apocalyptic world. Broken buildings are covered with vines, vegetation, and greenery. Moss and nature infest the destroyed landscape. As you make your way west, you'll run through the ruins of New York City, jump through Trip's hometown, sail across deserted wastelands, and escape from giant airships. The only caveat, as with most UE3 games, is the lack of anti-aliasing and uneven framerate. The music and voice-acting does its job.

The game will last about 10 hours and replay value is limited with no multiplayer component.

While it isn't the greatest, it's still a journey worth taking if you like action/adventure games. If you feel like bashing robots to death, helping a girl get back home, and solving the mystery behind a post-apocalyptic world, give Enslaved a shot.